Top 10 Most Satisfying Beatdowns in Anime (ft. Todd Haberkorn)

“Akame ga Kill!” (2014)

Immoral, greedy, uncaring, the man who ruled the Empire from the shadows truly was scum of the earth material. While a house call from the assassins of Night Raid was most certainly warranted, Prime Minister Honest didn’t get his due until the very end. While the majority of the group had been killed off by this point, Leone had managed to save the last of her nine lives for this very moment. Even when Honest pumped her full of lead, the feisty kitty still succeeded in pummelling his face until it practically caved in.

“Yu Yu Hakusho” (1992-94)

Considering this guy was responsible for Yusuke’s second death, we’d say the Spirit Detective was more than entitled to a little payback. While Sensui’s skills remained unsurpassed by both mortals and demons, they didn’t end up counting for much when Yusuke clawed his way back to life, now in his Mazoku form with his ancestral devil daddy now in the driver’s seat. Seriously, the brutality he inflicts on Sensui is so vicious that it probably sent all seven of his personalities running for the hills.

“Digimon Data Squad” (2006-07)

Deletion has never been so gratifying. With both the real and Digital Worlds facing extinction from the combined threat of Belphemon and the crazy-ass scientist now fused to his chest, it falls to Marcus and ShineGreymon to do a little virus busting. Infused with the power of Burst Mode, the rebellious tamer and his bro manage to finally give Kurata and the Digital Devil what they deserve – courtesy of several flaming sword strikes. Given the crap they had inflicted on humans and Digimon alike, watching them fade into the aether was bliss.

“Tokyo Ghoul” (2014)

Word to the wise, do not mess with a guy on the verge of a breakdown due to borderline starvation, being turned into a monstrous hybrid, and from watching his best friend be beaten bloody. Yep, Nishio really stepped in it when he decided to push Kaneki over the edge. No amount of mind games or sneak attacks were enough to save this cannibalistic hipster when the One Eyed Wonder finally snapped, unleashing a Kagune Blitzkrieg that practically turned Nishio into a pin-cushion, wherein he uttered these now immortal words.

“Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters” (2000-04)

No matter how many times we watch this, no matter how many times we hear Weevil screaming out in agony from getting his soul shredded by a children’s playing card, it never gets old. In order to teach this bug-obsessed bastard a lesson, the Pharaoh didn’t just wipe out all of his life points, he pretty much decimated whatever was left of Weevil’s psyche. Not sure how getting struck by a virtual projection of a monster is enough to induce a near coma, but after the hell that Yami Yugi just inflicted, we wouldn’t be surprised if Weevil never touched a card again.

“Attack on Titan” (2013-)

It’s almost cute how Zeke likes to think of himself as the Beast Titan. Newsflash pal, there’s only one beast on this battlefield – and that’s the Captain of the Survey Corp, and holy Eren’s mom’s corpse does he have a bone to pick! We’re not even sure we can call this a beatdown, since watching Levi carve apart this hairy monstrosity is more akin to an execution. Slicing apart limbs at lightspeed, cutting through all defences, until all that remains is the blonde mastermind, who doesn’t look so intimidating when brought down to Levi’s height.

“Gate” (2015-16)

Have you ever wondered who would win in a battle between the king’s royal guard and the Japanese Military? Spoiler, it’s the Japanese Military. You never bet against the Japanese Military! In order to rescue a group of citizens who had been kidnapped and sold into slavery inside of a fantasy world, Itami and his team stormed their way through until they confronted a rather cocky prince who seemed to think swords were a match for assault rifles. Of course, the crème de le crème came from when the slave-making, woman-hating Prince Zolzal got his face beaten in by Kuribayashi. Guess he didn’t expect this lady to punch this hard.

“Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood” (2009-10)

For all of his deceptions, scheming and trickery, you would have thought that Envy would’ve been smart enough to realise that tormenting a guy who can summon fire with a flick of his fingers was a terrible idea. After revealing himself to be Hughes’ killer, the Homonculus ended lighting a match under Colonel Mustang, who proceeded to incinerate him over and over and over again. Despite all the transformations at his disposal, Envy still got himself torched every single time. Considering just how devastating Hughes’ murder was…yeah, burn him again Roy!

“One Piece” (1999-)

He may be heading towards his twilight years, but even a blind man could see Whitebeard is as built as they come. His immense stature combined with the devastating nature of his Devil Fruit made him a true force to be reckoned with, a true legend of the seas. And this piece of crap Admiral went ahead and murdered his son. As you can imagine, watching Ace get impaled via a magma-filled fist did not sit well with his Pops, who in return gave Akainu a personal demonstration of his legendary strength. Seriously, the old geezer got lava blasted into his gut and still managed time to knock the Admiral flat!

“JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind” (2018-19)

Those crazy, beautiful bastards over at David Productions actually did it. They took one of the most hyped moments in all of JoJo, and turned it into thirty seconds of glorious, Stand-filled animated violence. With his fellow gang-stars and most of Rome in danger of falling victim to the sadistic Chocolata and his Green Day, it’s up to Giorno to take the good doctor out. How does he accomplish this? Oh you know – he makes a stag-beetle burst out of Chocolata’s head, all before unleashing Gold Experience, who then proceeds to unleash a barrage of punches more akin to machine gun fire. There are no words to describe how Jo-gasmic it is to see such a lunatic get Muda’d into oblivion. Dio would be proud.