Top 10 Reasons Peter Griffin Should Be in Prison

Peter is a frequent heavy drinker, and a regular at the Drunken Clam. He also frequently gets into all kinds of criminal mischief while intoxicated. For example, Peter is prone to stripping nude while under the influence, which he even did on his first day at his new job working at a brewery. Perhaps the most dangerous examples are his multiple instances of drunk driving, putting himself and everyone around him in peril. While these acts are pretty terrible, at least he isn’t sober while doing them, which is more than we can say for most of his ill behavior.

Peter has little regard for people’s personal property and has frequently engaged in robbing others, as well as breaking into other people’s homes. Quahog’s most famous son has stolen a great many things from many people over the years, including his family and friends, often with the goal of financing his numerous shenanigans. Peter has engaged in a wide variety of theft too, ranging from heists, to train and bank robbery, to even dry-land piracy. His entrance into other people’s houses hasn’t always been financially motivated though, as he’s also used it to spice up his marriage.

Even Peter’s robberies probably couldn’t pay for all the damage he’s done to everything around him. With all the crazy things Peter gets up to, there’s a lot of collateral damage and that usually includes other people’s stuff. When he isn’t accidentally tearing up his friend Joe’s yard or half of Cleveland’s whole house on a regular basis, causing his neighbor to fall out of his bathtub, Peter’s reckless antics have caused havoc and destruction throughout the town and even through time and space, thanks in large part to his increasingly outrageous and epic battles with a giant chicken named Ernie.

Peter is responsible for a lot of incidental mayhem and destruction, and some of it is the result of things that qualify as terrorism. In one episode, Peter befriends an Islamic terrorist and while he works to undermine the efforts of the man’s cell, he accidentally ends up destroying a bridge with explosives anyway. The bespectacled protagonist is also guilty of blowing up not one, but two hospitals. One of these incidents happened while imitating the Joker, with the goal of destroying vaccines, and the other at a children’s hospital, which was another accident. Granted, the latter did get him sent to jail, but only for a week.

Along with Peter’s aforementioned terrorist activities, the Griffin patriarch has also rebelled a bit more directly against the United States. After discovering his house is technically not part of the United States, Peter sets up his own micro nation called Petoria. He then invades America, annexing his neighbor Joe’s backyard pool and then throwing a party; inviting numerous dictators hostile to the United States. Peter’s rebellion doesn’t last long though, as the U.S. quickly retakes Petoria and the conquered land, proving that he’s as unskilled at war and diplomacy as everything else.

Peter’s crimes are not limited to being against humans, as he also commits them against animals. Besides his already mentioned battles against a giant chicken, Peter has often bought strange or exotic pets and neglected to feed them or otherwise mistreated them, such as his bizarre stint with a brain damaged horse. He has also killed many animals inhumanely, including the time he killed Quagmire’s cat while trying to shave it. Even his own dog Brian is not immune to his mistreatment, as he’s often beaten, shot, or otherwise injured him. The animal kingdom’s best friend Peter is not.

Peter is not so much a husband to his wife Lois as he is a bratty, malicious man-child. He constantly demands things of her or ignores her feelings and opinions in favor of his own selfish, random whims in what’s pretty much a form of emotional abuse. In addition, he has physically abused her, on one occasion doing so to better bond with Stewie; even going so far as to push their car into a lake with her in it! Though Lois has gotten back at him sometimes, Peter’s abuse is practically omnipresent.

Peter’s abusive tendencies extend to children as well, including his own. Peter regularly neglects his kids and when he’s not ignoring his duties as a father, he’s usually traumatizing or hurting them. He’s especially cruel towards his daughter Meg, who he bullies and torments at every opportunity. When Peter’s not being cruel to his own children, he often displays the same callous disregard for children in general, harming them in droves, from hitting them with his car, to committing full on battery against one of his son Chris’ bullies.

Yikes. Peter has an impressive collection of pornography, but one of the more extreme, and extremely disturbing parts of his collection is his possession of pornography depicting minors. In one episode, Peter is revealed to have hundreds of photos of children's penises, which he uses as part of a bizarre ploy to get his wife to bond with Cleveland's. Peter is also implied to have pornography of underage girls on his computer, which he throws into the ocean to avoid its discovery. With everything we’ve seen thus far, it’s pretty clear he should be kept as far away from any child as possible.



Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:

Assault



Abusing & Injuring His Friends

Peter is a bad, bad man and his misdeeds don’t get much worse than killing someone. While Peter has been responsible for lots of manslaughter, like accidentally killing his own stepfather at a birthday party, he’s also gotten his hands dirty himself, having killed or being depicted as having killed everyone from the elderly to his own children. Peter Griffin may be a cartoon, but he would make even the darkest of TV anti-heroes blanch at his copious crimes. He definitely deserves to be in prison. For life.