Top 10 Savage Roasts on Shoresy

“SOO Hunt”
In a game against the Barrelman, Shoresy is on the bad end of a brutal hit and suffers a concussion. When he’s back reffing again, Cory and Liam waste no time chirping him, suggesting that he doesn’t blow his whistle too hard or he might get another concussion. He replies he has to worry about the same thing from Cory’s mom blowing on his dink. Later in the game Liam complains about being called for a penalty with five minutes left in a tie game. Shoresy shoots back that he gets his whining from his mom. It’s simple but effective.

“Vaughn Canadesi”
Sudbury is hosting a senior hockey tournament featuring the top teams across the country. The team participating from southern Ontario is the Vaughn Canadesi which is entirely comprised of players of Italian descent. One of their more notable players is Sly Sylvestri who wears number 98. During the warmup in a game against the Bulldogs, Shoresy can’t help but be aghast when he sees this. He begins to mercilessly taunt Sylvestri because his number is one away from Wayne Gretzky. He feigns awe at Sylvestri superstar skill and sarcastically states he will get a double hat trick.

“4-6”
After the Bulldogs go the entire season undefeated, they lose to the Hunt in the championship game. Obviously, that stings but it’s not as bad as the chirps received by Liam and Cory from Shoresy during a beer league game. The pair start to roast Shoresy for being injured and he responds that they two are so freaking funny. Liam asks why he isn’t laughing, he assures him, he doesn’t laugh and Liam’s mom’s jokes either. In typical fashion, Shoresy then fires off a bunch of one liners about being with Cory and Liam’s moms with some of what he says being absolutely brutal.

“Set the Tone”
An American team, the Soo Hunt, joins the NOSHO, and they’re looking to take down the Bulldogs and end their win streak. The Hunt are so serious about winning they come to Sudbury a day early to prep. However, one of the Hunt’s star players, Delaney, was spotted out partying all night and come gameday, Shoresy is ready to pounce during warmup. He’s quick to run through a myriad of one-liners about a certain substance Delaney allegedly snorted. The best one being when he presents a pile of snow on the blade of his stick and asks the Hunt player what it reminds him of.

“Skill vs Will”
The Bulldogs pose for a spicy calendar and it’s a hit. Of course having a spray tan and being greased up may cause some to take shots at you, which is what happens to Shoresy. While reffing a game, Liam and Cory begin to rip on him for posing for the calendar. They get a few digs in but, of course, Shoresy’s got a response. He goes after their moms, stressing how they’re both competing for his attention and how Liam’s mom is waiting for him to come back with a wet warm towel. He ends the interaction by telling the pair to have their respectives moms to leave him alone.

“Get'em Focused”
The Soo Cyclones are one of the strongest teams in the NOSHO and during the Bulldogs’ losing streak, they were one of the most feared. This changes when the Bulldogs go on their winning streak, defeating the Cyclones to win the NOSHO championship. The Soo have an intimidating look with their blacked out visors but Shoresy uses that to rip into them in another mic’d up moment. What he says is so simple but so beautiful. Casually passing by their bench, he asks them if there’s an eclipse. You don’t have to complicate things to get a good roast in.

“Get'em Focused”
It’s pretty common for athletes to be mic’d up during games. It can be both fun and informative as it gives fans watching at home to hear some of what’s said during the game. Shoresy wouldn’t be the best because most of it wouldn’t be usable for network TV. However, it’s great for capturing him just eviscerating opponents on the ice. In a segment for “Questionable Call”, we get to hear some of what he says and some of his best lines are at North Bay’s captain, Keller. Targeting the large ‘C’, Shoresy comes up with a few zingers.

“Don't Poke the Bear”
While reffing a beer league game, Liam and Cory gloat about how their team is in first place. This, of course, draws the ire of Shoresy who begins to knock them down a peg. ] First he attacks them by suggesting their play is terrible. When they stress that they’re in first, he replies that their personal growth is what’s really important. He then moves on to insults suggesting the boys have acne riffing on the benefits of Clearasil and Accutane. Shoresy does become a bit rattled when they mention the Bulldogs’ upcoming game against the Soo and he struggles to come up with a coherent chirp.

“If You Can't Win, Don't Play”
The North Bay Norsemen are in town with a game against the Blueberry Bulldogs. Prior to the start of the game we find out that the captain of the Norsemen, Keller, has a comically large ‘C’on his sweater. This will, of course, be the thing Shoresy latches onto when heckling the Norsemen’s captain in the pre-game warmup. We have to admit, it is ridiculously large. Shoresy can hone in on a small, or in this case oversized, detail and mercilessly rip you to shreds for it. Keller’s strategy of non engagement does nothing to stem the flow of chirps.

“Veteran Presence”
The Bulldogs are on a epic losing streak and the team is in danger of folding so Shoresy has recruited some studs to bolster the team with veteran presence. Additionally, the Bulldogs acquire a sponsorship from the Sudbury Blueberry Festival resulting in them becoming the Blueberry Bulldogs. While Shoresy refs a game, two players chirp him over the new team name. Of course, chirping someone like Shoresy is risky business. He hits back with a series of roasts targeting their moms, with the best one being how Liam’s mom sent him a mix CD containing the bands Moist, the Wailers and Wet Wet Wet.