Top 10 Savage Wednesday Comebacks

Wednesday Addams knows how to make a first impression, and a lasting one at that. While sitting at the Weathervane, she’s confronted by three normies in pilgrim attire. Of course, she’s completely unfazed by their attempt at intimidation, first verbally laying them out with her unrelenting insults, then doing so literally. And this is just the first of her run-ins with these Jericho jerks. At Pilgrim World, Wednesday teaches them another lesson when they’re terrorizing Eugene. And she also doesn’t hold back later when she sees Lucas at the Rave’N Dance with her roomie Enid. It’s one thing to mess with her, but when it comes to the people she cares about, you’re digging your own grave.

Before we knew about Ms. Thornhill’s true identity, she seemed like a caring professor/dorm mother just trying to be there for her new student. After Principal Weems puts Wednesday on lockdown, Thornhill gifts her with Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein.” But Wednesday’s having none of that and questions her motives. She doesn’t need anyone trying to comfort or relate to her, especially when she feels wronged. Thornhill learns this the hard way when Wednesday responds to her seemingly kind gestures by likening this exchange to dealing with her mother, going to therapy, and being tormented.

Wednesday hands out sick burns to anyone and everyone, but we’d say Xavier Thorpe gets it pretty bad. She’s not impressed by his smugness and continues to rebuff his attempts at being her friend, or something more. Wednesday doesn’t seem to have much desire for either kind of relationship, but Xavier keeps trying anyway, even offering her unsolicited advice. When he tries to warn her about apparent normie Tyler Galpin, she shuts him down real quick, pointing out his privilege and arrogance. And when he tries his own hand at a comeback, she doesn’t even let him finish, countering with another deep cut – ouch, indeed.

Nevermore Academy alumni Gomez and Morticia Addams have kept a dark secret buried for decades. But when their inquisitive daughter attends their alma mater, she learns a few things from their past that make her suspicious. Being the brilliant detective she is, Wednesday uncovers the truth about the death of Garrett Gates, clearing her father of any wrongdoing. She’s sure to let him know that she doesn’t see him as the murdering type, which would normally be a compliment. But the Addamses aren’t exactly normal. Wednesday not believing in her father’s ability to kill someone seriously hurts his feelings. He knows better than to show too much emotion in front of her, though.

From the beginning, Sheriff Galpin had a problem with Wednesday Addams, partly due to a decades-long hatred of her father. And it doesn’t take long for Wednesday to start her own feud with him. After witnessing the Hyde kill Nevermore student Rowan, she’s thrown into a murder mystery and takes it upon herself to lead the investigation. She criticizes Galpin’s every decision and non-decision from the get-go, and rightfully so. Wednesday doesn’t care that he’s an authority figure. He wasted time trying to find Gomez Addams guilty of a crime he didn’t actually commit and completely lost sight of the case at hand. You could say he deserves every cutting remark, or sharpened hatchet, thrown his way.

Remember what we said about Wednesday and first impressions? Well, here we have another example, this time with a fellow outcast. When she volunteers to go up against Nevermore’s resident mean girl, and apparent fencing champion, Bianca Barclay, the two immediately have words, though Bianca’s are much less affecting. Without a beat, Wednesday knocks her off her pedestal and challenges her to a duel. Wednesday’s a skilled fencer, but she’s even better when it comes to verbal sparring. This should’ve been Bianca’s warning not to mess with the new girl. Little did she know that she’d be on the receiving end of several of Wednesday Addams’ stinging retorts.

Wednesday Addams is notoriously terrible at expressing emotion of any kind. But that doesn’t stop her from calling out someone else’s inability to be upfront about theirs. She’s caught up in a love triangle that she doesn’t need to be a part of. And when Tyler is frustrated that Wednesday can’t interpret his feelings, she bluntly responds by criticizing his indirectness and unfair expectations. Later, when Tyler proposes a serious relationship, he gets more harsh truths. Hey, Wednesday is self-aware, honest, and possibly emotionally unavailable, but he doesn’t seem to care. He can’t say she didn’t warn him, though.

Upon discovering the secret library at Nevermore, Wednesday is captured by the Nightshade Society. If they expected her to be even remotely scared, they were sorely mistaken. She’s a pro at one-on-one verbal brawls, but here she manages to roast a whole group at once. She immediately clocks the true identities of the masked figures and hilariously mocks them when they start rattling off their allegedly elite activities. They debate whether or not she’s worthy of joining, but she rejects them before they even offer, revealing she’s been free of their ineffective restraints for some time. She’s genuinely insulted by their incompetence, and gets in one last dig before exiting. If anything, Wednesday should be running the Nightshades.

Wednesday goes through it in the season one finale. She’s notably arrested by Sheriff Galpin, expelled by Principal Weems, knocked out and taken by Ms. Thornhill/Laurel Gates, and stabbed by a zombie Joseph Crackstone. To say she’s in no mood at this point is an understatement. Her ancestor Goody appears to her in what she thinks are final moments, and instructs her once more to kill Crackstone. But even at death’s door, Wednesday has time for a snarky one-liner. Goody quickly explains that she’s able to heal Wednesday, and thankfully our protagonist lives to fight another day. What can we say? No one’s safe from her sharp words – not even a ghostly family member coming to, you know, save her life.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

Troublemaker, “Friend or Woe”
Wednesday Causes Trouble for the Greater Good

Not a “Little Girl”, “Friend or Woe”
Never Underestimate the Strength of a Young Woman, Especially One with a Disembodied Hand

Nevermore’s Newcomer, “Wednesday’s Child Is Full of Woe”
Wednesday Doesn’t Deny Outrageous Rumors, She Makes Them Better

Weems Gets Schooled, “Wednesday’s Child Is Full of Woe”
This Is Likely the Moment Principal Weems Realized the Sardonic Teen Would Be a Major Pain

The Better Weapon, “A Murder of Woes”
Laurel Should Know She’s No Match for Wednesday, Even If She’s Armed

With someone as ruthless as Wednesday Addams, choosing a top savage moment is tough. But this quick and biting exchange really had us cheering, laughing, and taking notes. Before she annihilates Bianca’s team in the Poe Cup race, Wednesday responds to her lame insult with an instantly iconic comeback, referencing something the siren had told Xavier earlier. Between that and wondering how she could’ve heard the private conversation, Bianca must have been shook. Wednesday’s unwavering confidence really hits hard, putting her foe in her place. And to follow it up with sabotage and a victorious win? Wednesday Addams is an absolute savage.