Top 10 Signs You're a Crazy Dog Person

Chances are, when you first brought this dog home, you swore that you would be a strict puppy parent. But that… little… adorable face! So you let your dog snuggle in bed with you… but just for a few minutes in the morning. Then… you caved and let the dog sleep with you all night, on the condition that they sleep at the foot of the bed. Be honest though - how long did it take for them to sneak their way up to pillow height? Flash forward 6 months, and your pooch now sleeps under the covers, occupying prime real estate, as you contort your body to accommodate those four widdle wegs.

When your partner pops the question, should they do it with an engagement ring or with a puppy? Trick question… the correct answer is BOTH. Because what better way to mark a new chapter in life than by adding another four-legged family member? For the truly doggie-dedicated, dogs aren’t pets, but family - even when it’s inconvenient. So if your wedding isn’t going to feel complete without your beloved hound serving as ring bearer - then go for it! Your family is probably used to it by now. It is supposed to be the happiest day of your life after all... and what makes you happier than puppy-whuppies?

Welcome to the modern world of social media. With it comes an incessant stream of bad news from around the world, the expectation that you should always be reachable, and pics of your ex with their new S/O, despite the fact that you unfriended them... both. So why haven’t you abandoned Facebook yet? The puppers. It’s all worth it thanks to your carefully curated feed of dog rescues and puppy-centric viral media. How would you survive without your daily dose of canine cuteness? You’re not sure. But for the sake of everyone in your life... you sincerely hope we never have to find out.

It’s important to have a life plan… but when it comes to love, can anyone honestly predict what the future holds? If the right one comes along, who are you to deny the rules of attraction? If you meet a dog in need with whom you connect, that puppy IS coming home with you. Most of us start off imagining a single dog household, but once you’ve let four little paws into your heart, any predetermined limits tend to go out the window. Admit it… you’re dog crazy and quite frankly, there is no such thing as “too many dogs” anymore.

Some people have baby names picked out. In your case, you figure that, should any human offspring occur, an appropriate baby name will come to you when the time comes. Dogs, on the other hand… well you have plenty of those just waiting to be applied to the right puppy. In fact, any time you meet a dog tied up outside of a business, spot a dog being walked from across the street, or see a puppy on your timeline, you can’t help but give it a name… you know, just based on a gut feeling. What can you say, you like to be prepared.

What happens on payday? Do you treat yourself to a shopping spree? Do you call up your better half and plan a last minute but lavish date night? Do you text your crew and declare it to be a night on the town? Maybe… maybe not. But you sure as hell hit up Amazon or your local dog store and make it rain all over your beloved pooch. Artisanal chew toys? Heck yes. Adorable canine couture? You better believe it. A brand new orthopedic dog bed? Damn straight. The irony? Your dog prefers sleeping in bed with you, can’t stand clothing and exclusively chews on your slippers. You’re still gonna spoil them though!

Let’s declare this to be a safe space and level with one another. Most of us can’t help but devolve into baby talk when left alone with an adorable puppy dog, correct? It’s okay… it’s totally natural. If you spend more time with your dog than anyone else, which quite frankly, is the case for many dog owners, you likely spend a fair percentage of your day vocalizing in some form of doggie talk. Whether it happened accidentally – embarrassingly – or in a totally natural sort of way, you’ve likely let your baby talk dog voice shine in public. And that’s okay too.

Are you feeling self-conscious yet? Don’t! You love your dog, and don’t you for a second doubt that they love you right back. If they understood the concept of video chats, they would totally be down. But sadly, dogs generally struggle with higher concepts of technology… and so, such conversations tend to be one-sided. But whether you miss your pup when away on holiday or, you know... just at work, no one with a dog will judge you for wanting a little face time. Does this make you a little dog-dependent? Sure, but considering that products are now on the market specifically designed to let you video chat with your pets, you’re clearly not alone.

Alright, even if you buy the most expensive, high end dog food on the market, you likely (...hopefully?) spend more money each month on groceries than you do on food for your four-legged friend. But what if you were to compare it in terms of the relative quality of food? If you’re going with any of the most highly-regarded dry foods, like Orijen, Acana, Fromm, Taste of the Wild, or providing a raw meat diet… you can honestly say that you’re giving your dog the best food that money can buy. Can you say the same for yourself and your dietary habits? Are you eating the best food that money can buy? Probably not.




Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.



All New Dogs Are Automatically New Friends to You


You Can Identify Your Dog by Poop Alone



You Spell Words Out a Lot

There used to be a line drawn between humans and their companions, people and their pets… homo sapiens and canines. But nowadays, for many individuals, dogs have taken the place of children. And despite the fact that they are furry, four-legged and will never develop language skills or go to college, you often project human milestones onto them, or help them to partake in the quintessential childhood activities. Does your dog get a birthday party? Do you invite their doggie friends? Does your dog ever… sit in a baby swing, go for a ride in a stroller or in the supermarket shopping cart? Some call it crazy, but for you, it’s pure puppy love.