Top 10 Signs She is a Bad Friend
#10: There’s No Secrets (Even If You Want There To Be)
Ah, there’s nothing better than having someone you can confide in... which makes this kind of “friend” a real let down. When you reach that level of friendship where you can comfortably reveal the skeletons in your closet, the last thing you want is for that person to talk about them with other people -- especially if this person reassures you with the words, “You can tell me anything,” or the ever popular, “Your secret’s safe with me.” No matter how many times they apologize or claim to not have known how vital the secret was, the damage is already done.
#9: They Flirt With Your Significant Other Or Crush
Sometimes, we reach a point in our friendship where our best buds engage in playful banter with our significant other. This is actually a pretty fun point to be at, but not if that friend takes that playful banter too far. That nagging feeling you have about those longing glances, lingering touches, and overabundance of compliments may be completely justified. This is especially true if it’s someone you have a crush on... and your friend KNOWS that you like the person. If they hit you with a legit “If you’re not gonna go after them, maybe I will,” they may not be the friend you thought they were.
#8: They Make You Feel Worse In Bad Situations
Imagine, if you will, that you’re having the worst day of your life. This looks like a job for a good friend, and a good friend would arrive with Kleenex, your favorite snacks, a shoulder to cry on, and, of course, loads and loads of judgement- right? If you were in the middle of a personal crisis, a good friend wouldn’t say things that make you feel worse. They would also focus their attention on you and not on other things, and they certainly wouldn’t try to turn the situation into an opportunity to talk about themselves and their feelings.
#7: They Constantly Bail On You
“We should hang out,” your friend says excitedly... only to cancel on you each and every time. It's understandable that people are busy and have lives outside of their friendships, but it feels pretty lousy when a friend cancels plans again and again. One time is forgivable, but multiple times deserve a healthy dose of the side eye, especially if they make time for other people... but not you. Of course, they expect you to drop everything if they do include you in their plans, and they’ll gleefully tell you how awful you are if you can’t make it or if you have to cancel for any reason.
#6: They Only Call When They Want Something
To be honest, this person probably never had friendship in mind to begin with. Essentially, you have something this person wants, so they use the friendship label to get things out of you. This can range from material things, to cozying up with you to hone in on the people you know. They only bother talking to you to ask for something, but mysteriously, they’re never around when you need something from them. If you do manage to get something out of them, they’ll be sure to remind you of their so-called “generosity” if you don’t give them something they want.
#5: The Conversation Is Never Equal
This time around your life isn't the one in shambles, instead it's your friend whose life is falling to pieces. Unlike them, you are on the scene immediately, armed with hugs, plenty of comfort and support. So then... why don’t they ever do the same for you? Whenever your friend needs a good ol’ fashion cry fest, or a bitter bitch session about how unfair the world is, you’re always there for them... but they never return the favor. In fact, if you do try to get a word in about anything, they cut you off or completely ignore what you’re saying, shutting down what should be a two way street.
#4: Nothing Is Ever Their Fault
There’s nothing pleasant about having a disagreement, but sometimes, you and your bestie are gonna argue, and it’s gonna be ugly. Sometimes, you’ll be in the wrong, and other times, you’ll still be in the wrong, because we all know that friend of yours is never, ever wrong. It feels extremely condescending when your friend would rather defend their hurtful actions and give non-apologies instead of admitting that they did something wrong. “I’m sorry you’re upset,” is NOT an apology, and, “I didn’t know it bothered you,” does not excuse a friend’s negative actions.
#3: They Bitch About You Behind Your Back
It’s like a punch to the gut: someone tells you something awful that your “friend” said about you. You might not believe that person, and when you confront your friend they’re in full denial mode, but when it’s several people telling you about a friend’s smack talking, it becomes cause for concern. It’s even worse when it’s not just random people who are whispering about you, but other friends who your supposed friend has talked to. The last thing you need is a friend who smiles while they stab you in the back. With some “friends” it's a simple case of the bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
#2: They’re Constantly Putting You Down
It’s one thing to say awful things behind your back, but to say them right in your face? Of course, to them, the words that hurt your feelings aren’t cruel, they’re helpful. That crappy comment about your appearance? Helpful. That harsh remark about that thing you like? Just a joke. And speaking of jokes, if they make one that offends you in any way, you’re taking things too seriously and need to stop making things about race, gender, sexuality, and any other issues you have to deal with. If you decide to defend yourself, you’re attacking them, because “they’re only trying to be a good friend.”
Before we get to our worst friend trait, let’s block these kinds of people out of our lives:
They Trash Talk The People Who Are Important To You
They Constantly Remind You Of “That Favor”
#1: They Aren’t Happy When Good Things Happen To You
Finally, some good news! That promotion? Got it. Your crush? Asked you out. But hey, it doesn’t even have to be supremely monumental: you got your hair done, there was a huge sale at your favorite store, and the next season of that show you’re obsessed with has started. But then.... they come along and ruin everything. They like it better when you’re miserable, so they’ll be sure to completely ignore your good news or say something to try and burst your bubble. You’re not allowed to have things, unless, of course, this “friend” can outdo you.
Do you agree with our list? What are some indicators of a toxic friendship? For more top tens that won’t let you down, be sure to subscribe to MsMojo.
