Top 10 Weirdest Dating Simulator Games

Are you a fan of all the crazy and colourful characters created by Namco? Ever wondered what it would be like to actually date them in a high school setting? Well do we have the game for you! Brought to us by the creator of Homestuck, players assume the role of the Cousin of the Prince from Katamari Damacy, who must navigate a high school filled with Namco characters and find true love. A game that has a lot of heart behind his hilarious premise, players can feel free to indulge in that secret passion they have always had towards such sex-icons like Galaga and King.

We imagine a lot more people would study history if it turned out like this. With the sole goal of conquering the world, players must gather over seventy historical figures to aid them in their conquest. The catch? They’re all oddly attractive moe girls. Icons like Lancelot, Marco Polo, Oda Nobunaga, Tutankhamun, Napoleon; all of them are now part of your army, and also want to get into your pants. An extensive and fun strategy game by itself, it’s still a little off putting when you realise that you are getting intimate with Billy the Kid and Christopher Columbus.

In the wrong hands this game could have come across as rather disturbing and blatantly offensive due to its content – I mean, the title literally means “Cripple Girls”. However, thanks to the care and consideration put into the narrative and characterisation, this romantic visual novel about disability and acceptance comes across as utterly charming. Players take control of Hisao Nakai, a student who suffers from a rare heart condition and has to be transferred to an academy for disabled children. While there he encounters various ladies, who are crippled in some way, whether it be severe burns, blindness or loss of limbs, and gets to choose who he pursues a relationship with. And we’re not just talking about the occasional kiss…

Isn’t it the dream of every princess to find themselves captivated by their true love and whisked away to find their happily ever after? How do you improve on such a fairy tale romance? By having your prince charming be a skeleton of course! Awakening in the kingdom of the dead, players have to search for their true in a world of phantoms, zombies and beautifully macabre artwork. Will you choose King Jean? Maybe a rather handsome looking Victor Frankenstein? Not freaky enough for you? Well you could always throw caution to the wind and try to capture the hearts of a ghost of a cigar-smoking, talking skeleton.

This game tries to teach us the ever important message of how love is not all about looks but about the personality within. The goddess of love, Evian, is willing to risk her life for this belief. As a result, she is sent to Earth to prove it before demons destroy the human race. It’s your job to help her…by romancing her severed but still living head that now rests in a flowerpot. That’s certainly one way of trying to get your point across. If you can get past the fact that you’re falling for a disembodied cranium, or you are just really into botany, then were sure you’ll have a great time with this game. You have been warned.

Huge boobs and candy crush together at last! Making no apologies for what it is, this oddly addictive and steamy game revolves around you dating and seducing a number of women via a match-three puzzle style of gameplay. The fun comes from the diverse personalities of its fully-voiced characters that assures that players will be fully immersed as they endeavour to date their way to a very vocal and very explicit night between the sheets. With characters ranging from the teacher you’ve always wanted, a love fairy, a sexy single mother and even a humanoid kitty, HuniePop will ensure that you’ll be enjoying every second of your shame.

We’re not exactly sure who watched Steven Spielberg’s cinematic masterpiece and thought to themselves “that T-Rex is kind of cute”, but low and behold here we are. It’s weird in every way yet somehow manages to come across as an earnest after school get together between a girl and a guy who just may fall in love…except for the fact he’s a dinosaur. Since the dialogue is played so seriously, it’s easy to forget just how ridiculous the whole premise is, but that’s where it gets its charm. Its odd innocence and short length ensures that you will believe that a tyrannosaurs’ love is worth fighting for!

You might be thinking that compared to all the other entries, this hardly seems weird. In fact, it could open up some really interesting dialogue choices about love entangled with politics. It certainly could…if it weren’t for the fact that your girlfriend becomes president because she was randomly selected by aliens who crashed into Earth, killed the last president then brainwashes the rest of humanity into thinking your childhood friend is the President of the United States of … Nippon. With the options of romancing the less than qualified president, or even a sentient spaceship, this game definitely fits into the weird category.

To be honest, we’re struggling to find out who this game was made for. Either someone out there has a fetish we don’t want to know about, or the developers somehow knew that a dating simulator about a romanticised, humanoid grasshopper would sell. The fact that the protagonist doesn’t seem thrown off by the whole thing is so awkward and terrifying that you’re almost compelled to see it through to the end. While the complimentary sex appeal and love’s first kiss scenes are thrown in just to make players question what they’re doing with their life, we’re thankful the develops didn’t decide to go all the way. We’re not sure we could handle it.

Before we reveal out number one pick, here are a few honourable mentions.

“Re: Alistair++” (2010)

“PacaPlus” (2013)

“Gakuen Handsome” (2010)

Well, here it is. The video game that made us fall in love with pigeons. As the only human attending Saint Pigeonations, you’ll find yourself interacting with a whole host of large, intelligent and diverse birds that you’ll eventually end up romancing. The tongue-in-cheek humour combined with an intermingling series of storyline culminates in a game that will have you actually caring for your feathered companion. Whether it’s the murderous Doctor Iwamine, suave superspy Yuuka, the frail yet sweet Nageki or the sexy-as-hell Okosan, this is one bizarre dating sim you will find yourself revisiting again and again for the sheer amount of content.

Do you agree with our list? What’s your favourite weird dating simulator? With new top tens published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.