Top 10 Worst Celebrity Fashion Commercials

Known for her quirky, creepy, and off-kilter roles, Helena Bonham Carter is the queen of strange … which is a good word to describe this advertisement. Bonham Carter looks like she’s confused as to how she got there, and keeps looking at the camera as though she’s asking the audience if they know. There is no doubt she is attractive, but her glamour shots are wooden, and uncomfortably intense. With the opening riff of Thurston Harris’ “Little Bitty Pretty One” playing in the background, the tone is obviously supposed to be light and playful, but what we get instead is stiff and disjointed.

Having been around for over a hundred-and-thirty years, Sears, Roebuck & Company is an institution - there is no doubt about that. However, dependable as it is – and perhaps showing its age – when people think Sears, they don’t’ usually think “cool.” In a cringe-worthy attempt to look hip, they clearly tried to bank on the popularity of “High School Musical,” and star Selena Gomez, with a full-on music video commercial … about back to school clothes. We get trying to appeal to young people but the first rule of being cool: Don’t try so hard.

 In the mid-nineties, after turning pro, Tiger Woods quickly signed a deal with Nike, which was famously one of the most lucrative at the time in the world of golf. Following the infidelity scandals that surfaced in 2009, people became disillusioned with golf’s golden boy. Rather than dropping their sponsorship, Nike aired an advert showing a somber, guilty-looking Woods getting dressed-down by his own father’s voice. While some thought that the ad was brilliant, others thought it was an odd bit of public shaming. More uncomfortable: Wood’s father had died in 2006, making the voiceover borderline tactless.

When you hear the name Bob Dylan, lingerie doesn’t immediately come to mind. However, in 2004 somebody clearly thought that it could, and produced this ad, perhaps hoping to make good on Dylan’s joke in 1965, when he claimed he would never sell out – except for “ladies undergarments.” The featured song, “Love Sick,” had been licensed to Victoria’s Secret already, so perhaps this was simply a next logical step. Whatever the setup, the commercial is bad. The seductive walk-about with a Victoria’s Secret Angel in Venice is simply too odd for the American king of folk music, and feels sleazy rather than sexy – not what you want to feel when buying negligee.

A Britney Spears video is sure to feature three things: a choreographed dance routine, big hair, and product placement. Specifically, her 2010 perfume brand – which, if commercials like this are any indication, might be the best way to advertise them. This ad-spot for Radiance Perfume has the setup of a music video (starlet fleeing the cameras, glittering heels – even a throwback to earlier work) but none of the fun. And like any music video minus the music, the “plot” becomes ludicrous. If you didn’t want your fortune read, stop wasting the lady’s time! If the fragrance had been called “Destiny,” this would make sense, but considering it’s not… we’re totally lost.

 Ever have one of those days where your professional photo shoot is simply RUINED by your slipping bra straps? No? Because you’re a regular person, probably. The thing with Hanes is that its whole brand is centered on the fact that they’re practical products: cotton, basic, comfortable. Nothing wrong with that. So, shouldn’t their commercial reflect that? The somewhat tone-deaf commercial merits yet more eye-rolls as Jennifer Love Hewitt finally storms off set to change into her cotton comfort bra and throw out all her other bras. Umm, No. When your product prides itself on being real, you better come up with an ad that is similarly realistic.


 This one is a bit of a doozy. Between the campy music, shaky camera, dated sound effects, and oversaturated colors, the whole thing looks like it was hastily put together by a failing film school student… or by a stalker. To make matters worse, we’re never given a clear idea of what’s being marketed until we’re too befuddled to care. There is a photo shoot, and a bunch of obviously paid extras, but no indication that it’s a perfume commercial until the final shot. The purpose of any ad is to convince the audience to buy the product … and we’re not sold on this. “Can Can” by name, fail fail by trade.

 After apparently being transported to some sort of Tron-esque video world, Lindsay Lohan robotically says random words to sell … what exactly? Remember those days when Lindsay Lohan was an up and coming star who took on light-hearted but interesting roles? To be fair, the setup isn’t her fault, but it’s still surprising she signed on for it. Like many of the other entries on this list, the commercial is both wooden and confusing, and basically has a “this paid for my new swimming pool” sign pinned on the star’s shirt. It might be filled with geometry, but this advertisement and whatever it’s selling just don’t line up.

You know what? Not everything has to be gendered, and it is great when products are truly unisex. But there is a difference between unisex and seeing-you-sex. A little PDA is fine, but this is uncomfortably personal. It is really hard to keep a straight face while watching the ad. Typically, you do want sensuality in a perfume commercial, but this shoots so far beyond that it hits the moon – and in this case... the moon is made of cheese. What makes this more awkward: the divorce, of course. Unbreakable is broken up.

 

There is no doubt that Brad Pitt is a great character actor, but we just wish he wasn’t so zoned-in for this one. With this super dramatic monologue, you’d think he's about to start talking about the tree of life, the meaning of existence, or time being a flat circle or something … but nope it’s perfume. Scented water. Perfume is inevitable? No. A lovely extra, a nice aromatic pick-me-up, but inevitable it is not. Like anything that takes itself this seriously, it is hard not to cringe with contact embarrassment, and then crack up laughing.