Top 20 Empowering Sex and the City Moments

In this season five episode, Carrie convinces her friends to celebrate Charlotte’s thirty-faux birthday in style. They end up going to Atlantic City, but it’s not exactly the gal’s getaway Carrie probably had in mind. When she tries to get a group photo at the casino, two men unkindly tell Miranda to shove off the Black Jack table. The others don’t miss a beat, confronting the pair and making it abundantly clear that this kind of body-shaming won’t be tolerated. Miranda’s also reminded that although her body might look a little different from what she’s used to, it supported her through pregnancy. Let’s just say the ladies make sure that the shamers learn their lesson loud and clear.

This series is called “Sex and the City.” So, as the title suggests, the ladies are likely to spend a great deal of time talking about their physical relationships. But did someone forget to give Miranda that memo? We can totally appreciate that she wants at least some of their conversations to pass the Bechdel Test. And we’d probably scream into the abyss listening to Carrie ruminate over Big for the umpteenth time, too. But at the end of the day, Miranda’s still there when Carrie needs her. There’s arguably nothing more empowering than being supported by loved ones during difficult times. And sometimes, we all need reminding that the healing process can’t be rushed.

The ladies celebrate their unified singledom with a night of drinking and dancing. When Charlotte struggles to get behind this cause of celebration, Samantha offers her some pretty sound advice. Sure, being with someone can be great, and we can all dream of being in loving and nurturing relationships. But the most important relationship one can have is with themselves— which, as we’ll soon see, is a recurring theme throughout the series. Anyway, when a man approaches Sam, asking her to dance, she politely turns him down; this is girls’ night, after all. Miranda might be surprised, but we weren’t. Samantha doesn’t exactly strike us as the type who’d ditch her soulmates for a man.

Most of us can probably relate to looking in a mirror and picking apart what about our physical appearance we’d most like to change. So, next time you find yourself being your harshest critic, we’d like you to remember Ms. Samantha Jones. She’s a body-positive queen and a role model to all of us. In this episode, she shows appreciation for her body by posing for photos in her birthday suit. Her friends are somewhat critical at first, but Samantha’s confident enough in her own skin not to be shaken. We’re not suggesting booking any intimate photoshoots if that’s not your thing. But we can all learn to love our bodies and what they do for us a little more.

The truth can be hard, but it can also set you free, as Miranda learns in this episode. She tells her friends about her date, and while they’re all optimistic and encouraging, Carrie’s boyfriend, Berger, offers another perspective. The ladies are horrified by his blunt honesty - well, except for Miranda. She actually finds it refreshing and learns to embrace the harsh reality that sometimes, that other person simply isn’t into you. With that in mind, she approaches the dating scene with a whole new perspective. Fun fact: Reportedly, this episode inspired series writers Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo to write the self-help book “He’s Just Not That Into You,” which was later turned into a movie.

This episode is one that many point to when itemizing Carrie’s flaws. After she ends things with Aidan, she needs to find the money for a down payment or risk losing her home. She soon discovers that because she has spent so much money on shoes, she’s not a viable candidate for a loan. She brings her financial woes to Big, who offers her the money without a second thought. Miranda and Samantha also offer support, but Carrie turns them down. Yes, expecting your friends to bail you out is extremely entitled, and we have to side with Charlotte here. That aside, Carrie did try to own her mistakes and didn’t rely on a man to save the day.

In season three, Miranda hires a housekeeper who tries to clean up a lot more than just her home. Magda is a more conservative woman who believes that all women should know how to make pies— does she think that’s the quickest way to a man’s heart? Her idea of a bedside goodie drawer is also vastly different from Miranda’s, but Miranda refuses to be judged for her choices. She tells Magda that how she chooses to live and enjoy her life is none of her business, and if that’s going to be a problem, there’s an obvious solution. Magda finds a weirdly sweet way to let Miranda know that she’s been heard.

For a series about sex and relationships, some of these characters could be pretty narrow-minded about the subject. But not Samantha Jones. She celebrates female sexuality and sensuality in all its glory and never apologizes for putting her pleasure first. She’s open-minded, takes ownership of her body, and encourages others to think more freely. Package that together, and it’s hardly surprising that she has such a fulfilling intimate life. She also taught us that nothing is more vital than self-love (no, not just the physical kind) and how important it is to nourish that relationship. You’re the one constant in your life, so why not put your happiness and satisfaction first?

“Sex and the City”’s stance on motherhood is quite progressive for its time. Take this season one episode, where the ladies attend a baby shower and contemplate their own maternal instincts. We’re shown a plethora of attitudes toward parenthood, but at no point does one feel more legitimate than another. Sure, you can be one of those people whose lives are transformed by having children. Or you can be like Samantha and celebrate your childless life— both are perfectly acceptable. We also love that despite her lack of interest in babies, Samantha is there for Charlotte when Laney steals her baby name. We all need a friend like Samantha in our corner.

We’d spent six seasons navigating life and love with Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda, and now things were coming to a close. Carrie was back with Big; the ladies had reunited in Manhattan, and they’d served some final iconic looks. Now, all we needed were some empowering parting words to hold onto between rewatches— and luckily, the writers had the perfect message to send fans on their way. Carrie reflects on the journey she’s been on and the lessons it taught her. But the main takeaway is that the most crucial relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. Finding someone who shares that love is an added bonus.

In one of the most poignant scenes in the show’s history, Carrie is in a white dress and Aidan is in a rented tux and he suggests they just get married right then. Carrie has already displayed some trepidation about their upcoming nuptials, and in this moment she has to put her foot down and tell him that she just isn’t ready right now. Many fans disagreed with her decision, considering how well Aidan treated her and especially due to the fact that he took her back despite her infidelity, but in the end no woman should do something she’s not comfortable with just to avoid losing someone.

What this moment boils down to is a woman’s right to choose - whether that means working toward becoming a partner at a law firm or quitting your job and pursuing interior design as a hobby. Miranda calls Charlotte out on what she deems to be a flakey life decision, but in the end they both realize that there is no one right path that works for everyone. On top of that, this episode also features a storyline about one of Samantha’s partners asking her to do a little personal grooming, and her refusing to comply unless he does the same.

Sometimes it’s the simplest things that can be the most inspiring. When Steve and Miranda finally get together (for good) after spending years apart, Miranda decides to ask Steve to marry her in a moment that is both unexpected and beautiful. Despite how far we’ve come, marriage proposals are still more frequently something that is considered a man’s responsibility, and seeing it go down another way is refreshing. The fact that Miranda isn’t what you’d call a hopeless romantic makes this gesture all the sweeter.

Charlotte is a woman who knows what she wants: to meet the man of her dreams, and have a child. She thinks she has the guy, but unfortunately the baby doesn’t come quite so easily. Through all their fertility troubles, Charlotte often feels alone since Trey is clearly not on her wavelength when it comes to the importance of starting a family. In the end, she realizes that he doesn’t care about having a baby nearly as much as she does, and for that she knows she has to look somewhere else for her happily ever after.

In a world where gender roles continuously evolve, it sometimes takes some people a little longer to catch up than others. For instance, when Miranda and her friends discuss her and Steve’s vastly different salaries. On one hand, Miranda doesn’t want money to be an issue in the relationship, but on the other hand, why should she devalue her success? After all, no one expects a man to feel bad for outearning a woman. Carrie faces a similar issue when she dates Berger. Like her, he’s a writer, but he’s intimidated by and even jealous of her success. Still, Carrie has no intention of downplaying her achievements to soothe his bruised ego.
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In the Season 6 episode “A Woman’s Right to Shoes,” Carrie is invited to a baby shower at a friend’s house where the hostess asks that everyone remove their shoes before crossing the threshold. At the end of the night, however, a pair of Carrie’s Manolo Blahniks are missing. Her friend doesn’t seem too concerned, but eventually offers to replace them until balking at the price. Carrie realizes, though, that between engagement gifts, wedding gifts, baby showers, and children’s birthdays, she has easily spent that much and more on this very same friend. Ultimately, she registers for a wedding for herself, and puts the single pair of shoes on the registry to make her point.

In this Season 4 episode, Samantha tackles an issue that women face in industries worldwide: sexual discrimination in the workplace. Sam is trying to nab a position working with successful hotelier Richard Wright, but it seems he just doesn’t want to work with a woman. She clearly outlines the issue that many women are faced with - show your sensitive side and be deemed too emotional, and put your foot down and be called cold, or worse. Turns out, Wright has no issues working with a woman; it’s the fact that Sam had slept with his architect he didn’t like. Regardless of the “why,” Ms. Jones stands up for herself and gets the job she deserves.

Though the show has been criticized for showing women being financially irresponsible and frivolous, some of the more empowering moments are more easily forgotten. In Season 2 and Season 3 respectively, Miranda and Samantha buy their own apartments, and in Miranda’s case at least, the fact that she is a single woman making such a major purchase without a husband or father helping her out is made into an issue. For Samantha, she is forced to move because of drama with her neighbors who are shaming her for the sex she has.

In 2001 when this episode first aired, dealing with abortion on primetime television was still somewhat unheard of. So when Miranda finds out that she’s pregnant and makes the decision to end the pregnancy, it was a notable storyline. Her storyline is juxtaposed with Charlotte’s, who is struggling with infertility. But the real twist comes when in the end, Miranda makes the unexpected choice to carry out the pregnancy. Throughout the episode, Carrie and Samantha share their own stories of having abortions, which works to de-stigmatize the act and show that it really is a woman’s right to choose.

One of the show’s saddest episodes features Carrie trying to celebrate her 35th birthday, but encountering problems when it seems that all of her friends have stood her up when she’s left at the restaurant alone. She finds herself questioning her happiness being single, and how days like this make her wonder if she needs a man in her life. With her trademark eternal optimism, Charlotte chimes in with a suggestion that ultimately leads the rest of the series. She proposes that they be each other's’ soulmates, and just let men be in their lives for fun. Embracing the importance of friendships is one of the most subtle feminist acts in the whole series.