Top 10 Most Unforgivable Sex and the City Moments
#10: Outing a Co-worker “All That Glitters”
Sexuality is a very personal thing that you come into in your own time. Somebody spoiling that right is unacceptable. When out with the girls, Miranda runs into someone from the law firm at a gay nightclub; the next day, she inadvertently outs him to another coworker. Although it was an accident, she was threatening him with a hypothetical outing nonetheless. He had even asked her to respect his privacy at work earlier. Unfortunately, considering the time and space of the series, this could’ve potentially had negative repercussions for him. Plus, it wasn’t Miranda’s place, and she should’ve been more mindful of their surroundings. To make matters worse, she never even apologizes for violating his trust.
#9: Judging Samantha’s Relationship "What's Sex Got to Do with It?"
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With appearances from several LGBTQIA+ characters, you would think exploring one’s sexuality would be championed on the show. However, when Samantha becomes romantically involved with a woman, her friends are less than supportive, especially at first. Samantha’s character is largely predicated upon her openness and comfortability with her sexuality. So it’s no surprise when she embarks on a queer relationship…at least not to the modern day viewer. Her well-intended announcement is met with cold judgements from the other women. Especially for someone like Carrie, who has made a career on sharing sexual encounters, this seems particularly regressive. The show was seen as progressive at the time, but this moment definitely wasn’t.
#8: Stereotyping Sexuality “Sex and the City 2” (2010)
While Stanford was beloved, he sometimes felt like a caricature of a gay man. This was only dialed up at his wedding to Anthony, which took place with a sprinkling of swans and Liza Minnelli officiating. It’s beautiful, but the franchise plays a lot of it for laughs, enforcing stereotypes instead of dismantling them. Over the years, even straight male characters with behaviors problematically perceived as “feminine” are presented to the viewer as potentially gay. There’s a lack of nuance, preventing actual queer characters from coloring outside outdated lines. We applaud the fact that the wedding happened before same-sex marriage was legalized in every US state. We just wish it didn’t put queerness in a box.
#7: Transphobia "Cock a Doodle Do!"
While living in New York City, you can expect to endure some interruptions from the world outside of your apartment. Some Black, trans sex workers have been convening outside Samantha’s building, causing her to lose sleep over the noise. We can sympathize with wanting peace and quiet, but Samantha’s actions are condemnable. She soon puts on her best PR woman hat to politely reason with the women face-to-face, but not before belittling and attacking their identities with her friends. Not only are obscene slurs and problematic descriptions used, Samantha also takes things to a physical level at one point. Granted, things improve between her and them by the end. But it’s never okay to disrespect someone’s identity, and the storyline leaves a bad taste.
#6: Fat-shaming “Sex and the City” (2008)
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Throughout the series, Samantha is depicted as a confident woman with a lot of self-worth, and rightfully so. Thus, it’s particularly upsetting to watch her friends pass judgment. After returning from LA, Samantha has gained a little weight. It’s totally normal for anyone’s weight to fluctuate. Yet her friends react as if they’ve just stumbled upon a horrible car crash. They then sit down with Samantha and discuss her body — yikes. It’s pretty disgusting that they’re not only criticizing her, but that this is depicted as a “good friend” moment. True friends shouldn’t concern themselves with someone else’s appearance. To make matters worse, the movie equates weight gain with unhappiness through this storyline in a way that reeks of fatphobia.
#5: Disrespectful Portrayal of Disability Various
Fast-forward some years, and we rejoin our NYC friends at a new stage of their lives in “And Just Like That...”. Aging is a natural part of life that brings all kinds of changes to our minds and bodies. In Steve’s case, he’s experiencing hearing loss. Though this storyline was inspired by actor David Eigenberg’s real-life use of hearing aids, many were concerned with his new portrayal. Steve isn’t just having trouble hearing, he’s turned into the butt of the joke and a throw-away character. The series could’ve taken the chance to normalize the condition and show that people with disabilities lead fulfilling lives. Sadly, that’s not what we get. Hearing loss is not a shameful thing, and it shouldn’t be mocked or stigmatized.
#4: No Show “Sex and the City” (2008)
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Carrie and Big’s relationship was incredibly tumultuous. After much back-and-forth, it seems they finally figure things out at the end of the original series. In the first film, the two are to be wed at a fabulous wedding with all the bells and whistles. It’s fairly obvious that these nuptials are doomed though, as they don’t really see eye-to-eye on much of anything for the occasion. Staying true to form, Big panics on the day, abandoning Carrie in a horrific move. He tries to reverse course, but it’s too late. Granted, we’d become accustomed to the cloud of disappointment that follows this relationship, and the two do ultimately patch things up. But it’s infuriating nonetheless, and we’re gutted when Carrie is humiliated and heartbroken.
#3: The Way Carrie Treats Aidan Various
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Most of us can agree that Aidan Shaw was way too good for Carrie. Sure, some of their downfall as a couple in the original series was due to bad timing, but she was also just incredibly inconsiderate and sometimes downright mean. For instance, it’s a pretty solid rule of thumb not to invite your ex over to your current partner’s home, right? Yet Carrie once did just that while dating Aidan. To add insult to injury, this was after she had already cheated on him with Big. Sadly, this was only one of many instances where she showed little respect for their relationship. Remember the disaster that was their engagement? She wore the ring around her neck. Justice for Aidan!
#2: Killing Off Big "Hello It's Me"
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We know Carrie and Big were a rollercoaster of a couple. But it still felt like they were it for each other. When the sequel series kicks off, we see that they’ve really hit their stride together. They’ve been married for years, and it feels like this is their happy ending. Yet in a callous and abrupt twist in the sequel series’ opener, Mr. Big passes away. His heart attack is initially juxtaposed with Carrie living in the moment, seemingly hopeful before coming home to find him dying. Many were shocked and hurt by the sudden loss. However, this was reportedly an integral part of the creative plan - for Big to die in order to bring new life to Carrie’s story. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. Minimizing Mistreatment, "The Awful Truth" The Abusiveness of Susan Sharon’s Marriage Is Downplayed No Means No, "The Drought" When Big Doesn’t Want to Get Intimate, Carrie Gets Upset & Expects an Apology Mislabeled Cultural Garb, “Diwali” Carrie Is Supposedly Wearing a Sari, But It’s Actually a Lehenga
#1: The Lack of Samantha Various
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It’s not “Sex and the City” without Samantha Jones. There’s been much talk about Kim Cattrall initially not participating in the revival, but drama aside - Samantha’s absence is very apparent. The entire dynamic is thrown off as the core group has dwindled to three, with other characters struggling to fill the gap. While the situation does mimic real adult friendships, it’s also a let down. To twist the knife further, we get hints of Samantha through texts and brief mentions. Instead of physically being there for Carrie at Big’s funeral, for instance, she sends flowers. Having her exist off-camera is, in a way, worse than her definitively being written out. Sure, she’s making a return in season 2, but the damage is done.
