Top 10 Video Game Characters Who Are Selfish Idiots

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Top 10 Video Game Characters Who Are Selfish Idiots

VOICE OVER: Ryan Wild WRITTEN BY: Ty Richardson
These video game characters make us want to throw our controllers across the room! For this list, we're taking a look at the most self-absorbed jerks and dolts in some of our favorite games. Our countdown includes Lazlow Jones “Grand Theft Auto V” (2013), Albert Wesker “Resident Evil” series (1996-), Shao Kahn “Mortal Kombat” series (1992-), Handsome Jack “Borderlands” series (2009-), Blue (aka “Gary”) “Pokemon” series (1996-) and more!
Transcript
Script written by Ty Richardson

Top 10 Most Selfish Idiots in Video Games


We could have a way better time with our games if these jerks weren't around! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today, we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Most Selfish Idiots in Video Games.

For this list, we're taking a look at the most self-absorbed jerks and dolts in some of our favorite games.

#10: Pokey Minch (aka “Porky”)

“EarthBound” (1994)

Kids can be some of the cruelest beings in the world, and if any of them were like little Pokey Minch (or “Porky”, as some like to call him), the world would be in ruin. If there was any way we could describe this troublesome twerp, we’d call him “petty” and “egotistical”. This kid will go to great lengths just to try and prove how much better he is than Ness! While there are some implications that Porky simply wanted to have Ness as a friend (especially if you look around Thunder Tower and New Pork City’s cinema in “Mother 3”), his behavior has forever labeled him as a self-indulgent jerk.

#9: Hasty

“Crash Team Racing: Nitro-Fueled” (2019)

Based on a character rumored to have been cut from the original "Crash Team Racing" (but was actually just a mascot design for something else), you'd think Hasty would make his debut with a noble and humble attitude. On the contrary, he talks about as much garbage as a freakin' dump truck! This pompous moose will speed past you while spewing condescending insults about your driving skills. Just hearing his laugh can give you an idea of how highly he thinks of himself! At least it makes wiping the floor with him all the more satisfying. Back to the cutting room floor with you, ya dumb moose!!

#8: Emily

“Until Dawn” (2015)

Upon meeting her, we all kept wondering “What in the hell is this girl’s problem!?” Emily is, perhaps, the most obnoxious character in “Until Dawn”, constantly picking fights with others and demanding to be the center of attention. What’s worse is that she went so far as to slap our darling Ashley. You do not EVER do that!! Ashley is a total sweetheart and deserves the world! So, when she was bitten by one of the wendigos, we may or may not have pulled the trigger for the wrong reasons. Geez, how did Matt ever fall for her?

#7: Falco Lombardi

“Star Fox” series (1993-2017)

Not all heroes wear capes, and not all heroes are noble and honorable as Fox McCloud. Take his fellow teammate Falco Lombardi, for example. While he may have the skills to back up his trash talk, Falco has a beak similar to a gatling gun - the sarcasm and snide remarks are rapid-fire, and you’ll constantly ask yourself if it will ever end. Spoiler alert - it doesn’t. He even has trouble showing any gratitude if you save his life. [“I guess I should be thankful”] You guess? Look, birdbrain, you need a good timeout in the Great Fox. Maybe if you get a better attitude, you can join us on the next mission!

#6: Superman

“Injustice” series (2013-17)

Look, we can understand why Superman is in so much pain. How would you feel if the Joker had murdered your wife and child? You’d want to finish the clown off, too, wouldn’t you? However, it’s what Superman did afterwards that gets him on this list. Supes basically used the Joker as an excuse to start an entire regime and become a malevolent global dictator. Yeah, because the only way to stop crime is by purging the world and committing crime yourself, right? Makes total sense! All because the supposed “Man of Steel” had ONE bad day, but we suppose that’s all it takes. Isn’t that right, Joker?

#5: Lazlow Jones

“Grand Theft Auto V” (2013)

When you think of the phrase “typical Hollywood sleazebag”, what do you think of? A fast-talking TV & radio host that treats others with a bit of condescension in his voice? Well, if that’s the case you just thought of Lazlow Jones. (Not the real Lazlow Jones, the fictional one in “GTA”...) The dude’s got a lot of problems. Like...A LOT of problems! He’ll grovel to anyone just to save his career only to turn around and commit more sexual misconduct and drug abuse. As we discovered in “GTA V”, the guy’s got several lawsuits going on AND a severe addiction problem. Maybe it’s time to retire, hm?

#4: Albert Wesker

“Resident Evil” series (1996-)

You don’t meet a lot of people who are willing to admit when they’re wrong or question their own decisions. These are qualities you cannot expect from a person like Albert Wesker. For years, this edgelord has believed in forcing evolution on humanity, and his head has now gotten so far up his own ass that he’ll kill anyone who questions him. Wesker has killed several STARS soldiers and even James Marcus just to move forward with his own agenda. If those aren’t the signs of a total d-bag, we don’t know what is.

#3: Shao Kahn

“Mortal Kombat” series (1992-)

It isn't a final boss unless it's being a total ass by spamming moves and insulting you every chance it gets. That's exactly how one would describe Shao Kahn, one of the most infamous villains in fighting games. This brainless beefcake has a history of treating the player like absolute dirt while gloating about how much better he is. Every time you get smacked by his hammer or impaled by his spear, he'll laugh in your face and/or scream "YOU SUCK!" before beating you into a pulp some more. Shao Kahn is very much the type of foe that takes immense pleasure in feeling superior, and my god, beating him is such a relief!

#2: Handsome Jack

“Borderlands” series (2009-)

It’s everyone’s favorite psychopath! While some of the stuff he says is hilarious, Handsome Jack is one of the most self-absorbed jerks out there. For starters, he constantly portrays himself as “the hero” and desperately tries to paint everyone else as the villains. On top of that, he’ll kill anyone for whatever reason he finds valid, whether it’s because you’re foiling his plans or because he just doesn’t like your face. Plus, he even built an entire city/museum dedicated to his life! Jack thinks WAY too highly of himself. So, why shouldn’t he be on here?

#1: Blue (aka “Gary”)

“Pokemon” series (1996-)

To perfectly describe our resentment towards Blue, we've put together a little poem… *ahem* Our name is Red. Our rival is Blue.
There are reasons we should hate him, and so should you.
He's never an ally. He's always a hater.
We just can't stand to hear another "Smell ya later!"
He's always a show-off and trying to pick fights.
Doesn't he realize there's much more to life?
If he cannot respect us and treat us like a mate,
we'll never feel sorry for beating his Raticate!
So there is only one solution for dealing with this brat:
We’ve officially changed his name, to Asshat!
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