Top 20 Cringeworthy Movie Dad Jokes of All Time



Top 20 Cringeworthy Movie Dad Jokes of All Time

VOICE OVER: Rebecca Brayton WRITTEN BY: Timothy MacAusland
We're not saying the movies are necessarily bad for telling these jokes, just that said characters should probably get some new material. For this list, we'll be looking at the cheekiest and most forced form of joke telling cinema has to offer. Our countdown includes “Iron Man 2”, "Jurassic Park", "Airplane!", “The Lion King”, and more!

Top 20 Cringeworthy Movie Dad Jokes of All Time

Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Cringeworthy Movie Dad Jokes of All Time.

For this list, we’ll be looking at the cheekiest and most forced form of joke telling cinema has to offer. The characters in question don’t have to be dads per se or even men, but their sense of humor has to fall in line with what dad jokes are generally perceived to be like. We’re also not saying the movies are necessarily bad for telling these jokes, just that said characters should probably get some new material. On second thought, never change.

What’s your favorite dad joke of all time? Put it in the comments!

#20: Winged

“Flash Gordon” (1980)
Ah, what’s a dad joke without a good pun? As Flash leads the hawkmen in their siege on Mingo City, they’re met with more than a little resistance. Several hawkmen are shot out of the sky, and Flash goes to tend to one who may be severely wounded, though the hawkman soon puts his fears to rest. We sincerely doubt he’d have made the same comment if he’d been shot in the leg.

#19: Running Out of Ink

“Iron Man 2” (2010)
Justin Hammer so wants to be Tony Stark, but he just doesn’t have the same level of rapid-fire quips. As if his entrance to the Expo stage wasn’t cringey enough, he doubles down on his confidence with a quip(?) of his own. If his cadence didn’t imply he was telling a joke, we probably wouldn’t have even realized it. Yeah, get that podium away from him; he doesn’t deserve it.

#18: Electric Fence Joke

“Jurassic Park” (1993)
Now this is just mean. Dr. Grant finds himself looking after siblings Lex and Tim after the park security starts to go haywire with dinosaurs running amok. Greeted with an electric fence he’s pretty sure is powered down, Grant sees an opportunity to lift the kids’ spirits. While Lex wasn’t amused, Tim certainly was and so were we. Though considering what they’ve been through, his tact could use some work.

#17: A Magical Place

“Holes” (2003)
Being stranded out in the middle of nowhere, you’ve gotta do what you can to amuse yourself, even if it’s a little cruel. Mr. Sir is constantly getting enjoyment out of crushing the spirits of his exhausted campers, and when they get hopeful upon seeing a storm in the distance, he seizes his opportunity. Thank goodness none of the campers had to get tucked in by Mr. Sir at night, because his bedtime stories stink.

#16: Milkman Joke

“Big Fish” (2003)
There’s something to be said for being able to take what seems like a personal tale and turn it into lowbrow humor. Old Edward recounts a story whereby a prophetic crow would tell him when family members would die the night before in a dream. His dad apparently on the chopping block, the man frets all day for something that never comes, only to get some strange news. Milkmen will be a staple of dad jokes forever.

#15: Dashing Appalachian

“Inspector Gadget” (1999)
If we’re being honest, there’s a lot of weird comedy in this film. That said, though, Dr. Claw really should have known better when he hired Andy Dick as a henchman. Upon getting his eponymous apparatus, he uses a word so out-there the only real response is a joke, but we still shake our heads at the result. Those of you who live in the Appalachians, we apologize on behalf of this movie.

#14: Woodsman Joke

“Hoodwinked!” (2005)
We cannot think of a worse time to crack a dad joke than in the middle of a police investigation, even if that investigation centers around fairy tale creatures and woodland critters and what not. There are more lumberjack-themed puns than one could shake a stick at, but this one is such easy pickins, it might as well have fallen right out of the tree and conked us on the head. We get it, Detective Stork, we get it.

#13: Mollusk Joke

“Finding Nemo” (2003)
Look, not all clown fishes are funny, and as long as that harmful stereotype perpetuates, the more we get moments like this. We felt the cringe so hard when Marlin butchered his joke, it was like watching a slow-motion guillotine. Apparently though, all it takes to get some confidence is an oceanic adventure, because Marlin lands it the next time. The fact that they’re laughing is in actuality what makes the joke funny for us.

#12: Standing Army

“Duck Soup” (1933)
This classic Marx Brothers comedy is stuffed to the brim with dry, quick-witted humor, but none makes our eyes roll in delight quite like this one. With the nation of Freedonia on the brink of war, Firefly appoints Chicolini as Secretary of War and immediately picks his brain, leading to this facetious exchange. There’s plenty of physical comedy in this movie, and no one deserves to be shown the door quite like Chicolini.

#11: Drinks on the House

“The Muppet Movie” (1979)
Fozzie Bear might be the ultimate teller of dad jokes in movies and TV, but here he might’ve demonstrated that it’s actually his superpower. Needing to settle an unruly bar turned hostile, he uses their insatiable appetite for booze against them, though it all goes a little more literally than we originally thought. If we ever get so drunk that we’re this gullible, it’s probably time to cut us off.

#10: Timon’s Jokes

“The Lion King” (1994)
When your best friend has little more than fart jokes in his arsenal, your dad ones probably look pretty good in comparison. Enter Timon, who absolutely will not pass on a good setup. Though he’s usually the only one laughing at his own jokes, we can’t help but laugh ourselves a little at how unfunny the jokes actually are. Choice comedy on the plains really dried up when Scar took over, didn’t it?

#9: Top with Hot Fudge

“Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” (2009)
The entirety of the sequel to this film was wall-to-wall food puns, but the first one had its moments, too. “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” sees inventor Flint able to have it rain all kinds of food, from cheeseburgers to pancakes, and yes, spaghetti and meatballs. However, it’s the ice cream that’s the pièce de résistance, which Flint serves with a joke on top. We’ll take our ice cream plain, thanks.

#8: Two Weevils

“Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World” (2003)
This one takes a lot of setup, too much, in fact, but isn’t that a cornerstone of dad humor? Captain Aubrey does everything in his power to get Maturin to choose between a pair of weevils that crawl around their food. It doesn’t really matter what Maturin says, however, as Aubrey will make the pun either way. Silly as the joke is, it actually has some thematic relevance later on when Aubrey makes a tough decision.

#7: The Defense Rests

“North” (1994)
Movies and TV have made a plethora of jokes at the expense of lawyers, with many calling into question their morals. But here we have the critically panned “North” to thank for their apparently being bad comedians, too. Upon learning their son looks to divorce them, two parents both find themselves shocked into a coma. At the subsequent trial, their attorney makes one of the worst jokes we have ever heard.

#6: I’m Not Wearing Any Diamonds

“Superhero Movie” (2008)
Pretty much everyone knows that the “Movie” movies are stupid. In fact, they’re pretty stupid on purpose. So we can’t say we were shocked when we heard this one. Honestly, Dragonfly probably could’ve thought up a diamond-related pun, but instead he dumbs it way, way down. Well, at least he’s not the only one with bad jokes, as the villainous Hourglass tags him right back.

#5: Clue Joke

“Jumanji” (1995)
This joke has been uttered so many times - by ourselves included - we’re starting to wonder if it was ever funny. Still, if anyone’s funny enough to give us the definitive version, it’s Robin Williams. Forced to continue playing the titular board game that’s worn the team down at every turn, tensions are high. So we can understand Alan’s trepidation at taking another dice roll when he makes the obvious joke. Just roll, Alan.

#4: Fun Guy

“Sonic the Hedgehog” (2020)
Whenever you make a new friend, at some point that friend is going to make a really dumb joke. And when that happens, it’s your duty as their friend to make them feel really, really stupid. Sonic is feeling down in the dumps, worried he’ll have to go back into hiding on the dreadful Mushroom Planet, to which Tom responds… Leave the jokes to Sonic, Tom, you’re more of the straight man.

#3: Subscribers

“Yellow Submarine” (1968)
No, not even rock and roll legends like the Beatles are exempt from making terrible puns, but at least when they do, they acknowledge their blunder. In this animated adventure, the colorful sea vessel finds itself stuck with a dead motor. While the band brainstorms options, Ringo gives us one of the most nail-scratchingly abysmal puns we’ve ever heard. You’re not gonna be anyone’s favorite that way, Ringo.

#2: Don’t Call Me Shirley

“Airplane!” (1980)
One of the best spoof movies of all time, if not the best, “Airplane!” is endlessly quotable, but this running gag might just take the cake. When all the pilots find themselves sick at the mercy of some bad fish, Dr. Rumack asks Ted Striker, the only passenger with flight experience, if he can land the plane. We’re pretty sure that whenever a dad is born, these are his first words.

#1: Ice Puns

“Batman & Robin” (1997)
Are we sure Mr. Freeze’s freeze gun doesn’t run on the power of dad jokes? Granted, Arnold Scharzenegger was known for his action movie quips; in fact, his career was practically built off them. But the decision to make every other line a Batman villain says be ice puns is patently ridiculous. Though after a while they start to be the saving grace of an otherwise terrible movie, so maybe we’re just being a little... cold.