Top 10 Things a Man Should Never Say to A Woman During an Argument

Say you’re really bummed. All you want is for your friend or SO listen and really care about your problem. Mumbling the occasional “uh-huh” or nonchalantly nodding won’t cut it; but saying “I’m staying out of it” is, like, the worst response. Women don’t expect you to fix things whenever they bring up issues, so sometimes a well placed “that sucks” will keep you in the game. But when you say “I’m gonna stay out of it,” a woman hears “I can’t be bothered trying to understand why you’re upset.” This will likely cause her to turn elsewhere next time she needs a sounding board.

Famous last words… “I’m done” is almost as damning as the old standard “Let’s agree to disagree.” Trying to run from an argument will help nobody, especially not the person who utters this expression. Cutting anyone off with this phrase is a guaranteed way to make someone even more upset, since it sounds like you just don’t wanna be bothered. Also, that word “done” can be easily misconstrued as being done with, oh, let’s see, your RELATIONSHIP? So, unless you’re trying to fast track your break-up, keep these words to yourself and don’t take the easy way out.

We’ve all been there, even as kids: you’re told to clean your room or get outta bed, and you say, “eh, I’ll get to it.” As we – gasp – become adults, more and more people ask us to get things done on a regular basis – and we’re allowed to procrastinate less and less. Whether you’re in a romantic, platonic or working relationship, it’s a sign when someone asks you to do something repeatedly. To put it bluntly, if you don’t like nagging, the best way to avoid someone telling you over and over to get something done is… to just do it.

This one boggles our mind, because really, who likes being told that the thing they’re stressing out about isn’t a big deal? Whether it’s a rough day at work, your favorite team is losing, or things just seem to be going wrong, the absolute last thing anyone needs is to have their issues trivialized by someone they’ve specifically confided in. If someone, anyone, shares something with you, they find it a big enough deal to bring up, so steer clear of the instant dismissal.

Women love jokes and they love to laugh, so why do some people think women are humorless? Well, we assume that’s what they think, since they seem to have to explain when they’re joking. Let’s paint a picture: you did something, and now she’s suddenly a little too quiet, glaring at you with crossed arms. That thing you did? Your insensitive remark, terrible action, or general dumb move? Yeah, wasn’t funny, so don’t try to pass it off like it was. In fact, here’s some advice: if you need to tell people it’s a joke, it ain’t funny.

An unfortunate cousin of “it’s not a big deal,” the “why are you so upset” query is not likely to go down well. It’s not the fact that you’re asking why she’s upset – by all means, try and get to the root of what’s causing her distress. But usually there’s a hint of “what is it NOW” behind the tone, and that… ain’t gonna fly. Pro-tip: if you aren’t also upset about the thing, then don’t focus on how insane you find her unhappiness; concentrate on trying to make her feel better.

Well THAT escalated quickly. Seriously though, what did you expect when you decided to call her that? Oh, what’s that? You didn’t actually call her a bitch; you just said she’s acting like a bitch? You can’t win on a technicality, friend. It’s a bit of an unspoken rule for female friends never to call each other this in a serious way, so if you’re a significant other, a male buddy, or heaven forbid, a COWORKER, understand how much weight this one “little” word means.

Let’s combine two negatives into one gloriously damning statement. Saying “you’re overreacting” is not only saying that something isn’t a big deal; it’s also implying that you’re not bothered by whatever it is that’s upsetting her. Imagine how you’d feel if you were trying to get your point of view across about something you find important, only to be told, “hey, it’s no biggie.” Do not, under any circumstances, trivialize anyone’s feelings, because no one wants to be told that expressing themselves is an overreaction.

We know you mean well when you tell someone to calm down, but it’s probably one of the most dismissive things you can say in the middle of an argument. Sure, you don’t want anyone to be upset, but if you’re fighting, chances are until there’s a resolution to the issue; people are gonna be peeved. Telling a woman to calm down is going to make it sound like you’d rather silence her than actually work to fix whatever issues you’re having. Even worse, it could sound like you think she’s blowing things out of proportion – or, y’know, overreacting.

Before we get to our number one pick, let’s be sure to not say any of these honorable mentions:
- “It’s Not My Fault”
- “You Know I’m Right”
- “Do I Have To?”

Even if you don’t quite know how it all works, a woman’s emotions are out of whack during menstruation. She can’t do anything about it; it’s literally how her body works, and it’s uncomfortable and painful and women KNOW some men get weird about it. So, if she seems especially ticked off about something, can you chock it up to a visit from Aunt Flow? Maybe. But saying it out loud is suuuuuuch a bad move. It demonstrates a lack of sensitivity, dismisses her feelings and demonstrates a lack of awareness that maybe you did do something wrong.