Top 5 Signs You Are Dating A Narcissist
#5: A Sense of Entitlement
Ahhh “entitlement”, it’s a word that gets thrown around a lot. But overused as it may be, when it comes to identifying a narcissist, a sense of entitlement does apply. It’s all about expectations. While you may have initially been impressed by your better half’s assertiveness in ensuring that their standards are met, have you begun to notice that their expectations are sometimes too high or downright unfounded? If your significant other always expects preferential treatment, even when it’s unwarranted… their sense of self-worth may be tipping into the narcissistic range. It can be hard dating someone who feels that the world- and you- owes them something.
#4: Charming & Romantic, But in a Subtly Self-Serving Way
In any new relationship, people tend to present their best selves, and over time, that veneer is likely to wear down and expose the grainy truth - it’s a simple reality of dating. But every now and then you meet someone who truly goes above and beyond… who turns on the charm, dotes upon you, and makes you feel like you’re living in the best parts of a rom-com. But it’s often in the storybook romances when you need to be most mindful. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin, narcissists are “experts at impression management”. Is this new flame genuinely smitten with you, or have they mastered the art of making others fall in love with them? . All this attention, while sure to make you feel great in the short term, can be used to manipulative ends in the long game.
#3: They Don't Know Much About You
Some couples know each other inside and out. Some... don't. If you can name your partner’s favorite sports team, color, band, and food, but they can’t do the same for you… you might be dating a narcissist. It’s one of the most obvious signs to watch for - a chronic lack of interest in you and your life. Have you noticed that your significant other often interrupts or jumps in when you’re telling a story, only to shift the focus back to a topic of their choosing? Are all their stories about them and how great they are? Try out a home version of the “Newlywed Show” - if you have all the answers and your partner has none… you may have a problem.
#2: They’ll Never Admit They’re Wrong
Is your so-called “better half” unwilling to take responsibility for any wrongdoing, or let an argument lie until you’ve taken the brunt of the blame? This is a classic narcissistic trait. While, as we’ve discussed, narcissism often outwardly manifests in the form of extreme confidence, it actually stems from a lack of self-esteem, fragile ego and a need for constant validation. Coupled with a general lack of empathy, this exaggerated, yet precarious, sense of self-worth results in what psychologist Dr. Leon F. Seltzer describes as ““habitual self-protectiveness”. Does your partner twist the situation in order to make themselves the victim, or even lash out aggressively? If so, this refusal to admit to any wrongdoing is a serious red flag.
#1: They Love To Talk About Themselves & Their Many Strengths
As we’ve previously mentioned, narcissists tend to take control of conversations. But talking too much or having a motor mouth alone isn’t damning enough proof. If you do suspect that your communicatively one-sided partner is a narcissist, you should pay attention to what, specifically, they tend to talk about. Are they specifically talking about themselves, often in a self-aggrandizing way? As part of their need for validation, a narcissist will often talk themselves up to others, in order to feed their desire to appear successful and important. Sadly, this constant focus on ego-building means that, should you continue to date them, your needs will likely remain of secondary consideration to your narcissistic partner.
