Top 10 Times Cartman Said What We Were All Thinking

In the episode “Bass to Mouth”, the teachers at South Park elementary enlist Cartman’s help in order to contain a student crisis. They beg him to not make fun of a student who had a…sanitary accident, and ensure his classmates don’t either. He agrees and when he escalates the situation even further, a solution that he proposes to the teachers is almost outrageous. However, Cartman reads the minds not only of the teachers, but the viewers as well. He knows they have no one else to turn to for this request. They agree to his plan, with some natural hesitation of course.

In “South Park”, it’s clear that the writers are attempting to depict hippies in a not so flattering light. This is most evident with Cartman’s constant bashing of them as well as his over the top efforts to keep them away from South Park. However, the line that most epitomizes this is when he basically describes what a hippie while talking in his sleep in season 4’s “Cherokee Hair Tampons.” “Hippies. They're Everywhere. They Wanna Save the Earth, but All They Do Is Smoke Pot and Smell Bad.” It pretty much sums up how the majority of people view hippies. Say what you will and perhaps it does not apply to all hippies, but his description isn’t far off.

After Cartman gets himself injured after a stunt gone wrong in season 8, police officers begin to believe that he’s a psychic. When he “assists” the police with catching a criminal (who was never even a suspect or culprit in the first place), the officers describe how Cartman is noble and doesn’t need to be compensated with money, as keeping people safe is rewarding in and of itself. Viewers know Cartman doesn’t believe in this at all, and he makes sure to let the officers know. We can’t decide what’s funnier; Cartman’s quick response or the police officer immediately complying and giving him 100 dollars.

In “Super Fun Time”, the gang and their classmates go on a school field trip to Pioneer Village. Cartman wants nothing to do with this, so he plans to ditch and go to the Super Phun Tyme arcade. However, he’s partnered with Butters, who refuses to leave his side and let go of his hand. His stubbornness makes him somewhat of a buzzkill. In response to his attitude, Cartman drops some insightful wisdom after visiting the arcade. It’s a very resonating quote and in some sense, we can agree with him and would like to say the very same thing to Butters. While the responsible thing to do would be to not leave, everyone wants to see Cartman being mischievous, as it oftens means more entertainment for the viewers.

In season 13’s “Fat Beard”, Cartman makes it clear that he has a no-nonsense approach when it comes to pirating. He takes it very seriously, and he lets everyone know about it, especially during the very first meeting he has with his crew. However, we know from the very get-go that not everyone is as well equipped or ready for pirating as Cartman, especially Kevin. There’s no debating how utterly ridiculous it is for someone to bring a lightsaber if you’re playing pirates, and Cartman is the one to say it out loud.

Alright, so he doesn’t actually say anything here, but he does show us and demonstrate how he and the rest of the audience feels. When the boys visit the country of Afghanistan to return a goat in season 5, they come across Osama Bin Laden. The character is made out to be as strange and dim-witted as possible, and in a fashion reminiscent of something straight out of “Looney Tunes”, Cartman uses visuals to basically sum up what he thinks of him and how viewers see him all while looking in our direction. And we have to say…he’s not wrong. We feel the exact same way Eric, we feel the exact same way.

From the moment the boys tried ziplining, they knew they were in trouble. Everything from the people they were with, the car rides and even the ziplining itself; what was supposed to be a fun day for our favorite group of fourth graders turned out to be anything but. The person to best encapsulate this is none other than Cartman, who at one point is shown ziplining. The sequence is non-exciting, the activity looks super boring, and it’s clear that Cartman is not having a good time. He makes sure to let everyone know that that is the case. His iconic line delivery makes this one of the episode’s most memorable scenes.

After hearing that a man with an insatiable lust is roaming South Park, Cartman is determined to protect himself. He installs an alarm system at his home, but ends up not being too pleased with the service he’s getting. Through various “test-runs”, Cartman is able to find and point out several flaws with the services he’s being provided. In a sense, Cartman almost emulates the concerns we sense as viewers as we watch everything unfold. At one point, he points out a very plausible scenario to the agent he’s speaking to on the phone with, who actually ends up being dumbfounded and left without a logical response. Cartman brings up an important point, and we have to agree with him here.

In season 7’s “Casa Bonita”, Cartman goes to great lengths in order to receive an invitation to Kyle’s birthday party so that he can go to the Casa Bonita restaurant. Just when it seems that Cartman’s plan is a success, police are already on their way to arrest him. In turn, he makes sure to enjoy everything the restaurant has to offer with the police in pursuit. When the police do finally do catch up to Cartman, they ask him if it was all worth it, to which he replies; “Totally.” Knowing Cartman, the answer comes to no surprise for viewers. But, at the same time, the response can be interpreted as having a double meaning, as the scheme was also totally worth it for us viewers as we got to see Cartman do some of his best work.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

I Mean, He Was Basically Asking For It…

We Know Cartman Has Just Come up with a Terrible Scheme, and so He Breaks Into Song and Dance to Confirm This

Everyone Knows He’s Not Concerned for Butters’ Safety

We All Thought the Same Thing and Knew Cartman Wouldn’t Be Happy with Butters

Viewers See How the Country is Being Depicted, and Cartman Just Says it Out Loud for Everyone to hear

It’s no secret to South Park fans that since the show’s inception, Cartman has always had an obsession with authority. Or should we say, authoritah. It’s one of the character’s signature catchphrases. But as the show progressed, the phrase became less and less prevalent. So when Cartman becomes a hallway monitor in season 10 and is told he has authority over students, his reaction is priceless. The mere mention of the word likely had viewers and long time fans repeating the word in their heads, probably in Cartman’s voice, wondering if they heard Principal Victoria correctly. She said it alright, and as one would expect, Cartman goes all out in his new role.