Top 10 Funniest Cartman Moments on South Park

When the people of South Park discover the power that comes with being a Yelp reviewer, it seems like no one can resist its temptations. Except, of course, for the restaurants, who are fed up with it. Cartman is one of the first to abuse his power, using his influence to make fun of the new kid in school, David. Of course, as the number of local Yelpers grows, his powers wane. Cartman calls for a meeting of Yelpers to establish himself as top dog, but soon finds himself overwhelmed by the sheer number of reviewers who show up. Watching Cartman abuse his power is entertaining, but seeing him go up against hordes of similarly stubborn reviewers is even better.

We all knew it wouldn’t take long for this list to get to an example of Cartman’s usual offensive behavior. So let’s start with when he learns about Tourette Syndrome. After seeing another child with the disorder, Cartman pretends to be afflicted with it and actually manages to convince both his mother and a doctor. Cue Cartman taking every opportunity to call Kyle anti-Semitic terms and basically curse out every person in his life. Seeing the devilish joy on Cartman’s face as he curses without repercussions, especially at a helpless Kyle who knows he’s faking it, makes the episode well-worth a watch. This is one of Cartman’s most despicably funny moments.

When Cartman commits the ultimate sin - eating the skin off of everyone’s KFC chicken - his friends start outright ignoring Cartman to teach him a lesson. It works better than they could’ve imagined, with Cartman assuming that he’s actually died - a notion further reinforced by a number of coincidences, including his mom seemingly “crying” over his death when in reality she’s sleeping with the plumber. This all culminates in one of the most entertaining and ridiculous things Cartman has ever done; he runs straight into a building full of criminals holding hostages and acts like a ghost, thoroughly confusing everyone involved. The moment Cartman realizes he’s not dead, and that everyone’s just been ignoring him all along, is extremely satisfying.

Few South Park characters are as memorable as Ms. Lopez - Cartman’s ventriloquist hand that takes on a life of its own and dominates South Park. What starts as a bid to win Cultural Diversity Day quickly takes on a life of its own. Soon, Cartman’s left hand is signing to a record label, recording music videos about taco flavored kisses, and making out - yea, we’ll just leave it at making out - with Ben Affleck. And this culminates in one of the greatest reveals in all of TV; the shocking revelation that Ms. Lopez is actually con man Mitch Conner, who’s tired of running. Who saw that one coming? But Cartman being along for the ride is equal parts hilarious and absurd.

Cartman has always been a lot to handle. When his mom hires nannies to watch him, Eric manages to send them to the mental asylum. At a loss, Ms. Cartman turns to a dog whisperer as a last resort, hoping that his dog training can work for her wayward son.. This episode is hilarious in a number of ways - watching Cartman get “Tsst!” by Cesar is extremely entertaining, especially because the dog training techniques work where everything else has failed. Perhaps even funnier is that the real Cesar Milan complimented the episode for its accuracy in dog training tactics. It’s always nice to see celebrities enjoying their portrayal since the show angers so many others.

In terms of offensiveness, few things are worse than Cartman’s infamous plan in this episode. He decides to pose as disabled so that he can enter the Special Olympics and earn the $1,000 cash prize. That being said, few things are funnier than seeing Cartman get pissed off as he gets literally destroyed by every other contestant in the Special Olympics, after he assumed it would be a breeze. What starts out as a plan to win some easy money turns into Cartman struggling to finish the events and ends with him getting a “spirit award” for coming in dead last. It’s always satisfying to see Cartman’s terrible plans backfire in such an embarrassing way.

With a spelling bee coming up, Ms. Cartman decides to buy Eric a device to help him win. That normally wouldn’t be funny, except the tool in question is a live monkey with a drum set. Said monkey turns out to be Eric’s secret weapon for the spelling bee, as it plays the drums to help him spell. Watching the Fonics Monkey and Eric interact is hilarious, especially when the monkey stares him down and waits for him to start spelling. The funniest part, however, is when Cartman enters the spelling bee and fails at the first word - chair - because the Fonics Monkey won’t cooperate because it’s too busy doing something else. Cue an angry Cartman chasing the monkey offstage. Classic.

Cartman will do anything to get what he wants, often pursuing his desires at the expense of others. This is displayed to full effect when Kyle says that he’s going to Casa Bonita for his birthday and bringing Stan, Kenny, and Butters - instead of Eric. Cartman starts apologizing for his behavior, but learns he can only go if Butters can’t. So, what does he do? Why, he locks Butters in a bomb shelter, tells him a meteor hit the Earth and that radioactive cannibals now roam free. When people learn of his plan and call the police, Cartman makes one mad dash through Casa Bonita, culminating in him leaping off the fake waterfall. Was it worth it?

After Officer Barbrady resigns from the police force over his illiteracy, he enlists the boys’ help to learn how to read. Cartman, however, decides to take justice into his own hands and begins patrolling the street on a tricycle, pulling over people for speeding and beating people with his nightstick when they don’t listen to him. The most iconic part of this episode, however, comes from Cartman’s memorable quote: “respect my authoritah,” which he repeats whenever someone doesn’t listen to him. What else can we say? Watching Cartman act like a cop and enjoy beating people with a nightstick really never gets old. Just respect his authoritah, people.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

Cartman & Imaginary Kyle
“Imaginationland Episode III”

Cartman on “Maury”
“Freak Strike”

Positive
“Tonsil Trouble”

Cartman as A.W.E.S.O.M.-O
“AWESOM-O”

Cartman Against Plant-Based Diets
“Let Them Eat Goo”

Our number one pick is also without a doubt Cartman’s most infamous scene. Following sales of pubic hair, a specially trained pony and some very hairy chili, one would think that Eric and Scott Tenorman’s rivalry couldn’t get any worse. But you’d be wrong. Cartman doesn’t only vow revenge, but he also gets it in perhaps one of the most dastardly and diabolical plots ever in television history. He isn’t content with simply humiliating the eighth grader. Instead, he orchestrates the killing of Scott’s parents, chops them up, and cooks them into a chili, which Scott then unknowingly eats. Eric goes so far as to lick the still-streaming tears from his rival’s face. Many years later, this scene is still as shocking and over the top as the day it aired. It’s messed up, but there’s also something darkly hilarious about watching Cartman explain his plan as his friends listen with visible horror.