Top 10 Weirdly Sexualized Video Game Sidekicks

Welcome to WatchMojo, and today, we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Weirdly Sexualized Sidekicks in Video Games.

For this list, we’re looking at various allies, merchants, and the like that were unnecessarily designed in a sexy way. Not that their appearances were offensive or anything, but we had to wonder why they were designed as such. Be honest - were you crushing on any of these characters or were you just as befuddled as we were? Let us know in the comments below.

When it comes to forgettable platformer mascots, Gex is right up there with Bubsy. The only difference between the two is that Gex’s games were somewhat okay. However, we’re still reeling a bit remembering his relationship with Agent Xtra. Despite repeatedly rejecting Gex throughout the game, she eventually gets with him after he saves her from Rez. The problem here? A human...getting with a lizard? Marliece Andrada is breathtaking, but did we really need to have her flirt with a reptile? Yeah, it’s got all kinds of “Howard the Duck” vibes going on, and we are NOT about it!

We could certainly see why an ape like Donkey Kong would have the hots for someone like Candy. However, eye candy seems to be her only purpose in the series, to which we have to ask, “Why?” Sure, she maintained our save files in “Donkey Kong Country” and even helped us bring down King K. Rool in “Donkey Kong 64”. But since those days, the most she’s done is make a few cameos, specifically when it comes to miningames! Is there anything else going for this chimp besides being abnormally voluptuous? Is there ANYTHING she has brought to the table since 1999? On second thought, don’t answer that...

Yeah, 90’s Rare, we aren’t finished with you yet! Don’t worry, we still love ya, but we gotta talk about Humba Wumba. You managed to make polygonal eyes somewhat pretty, and her rivalry with Mumbo Jumbo was hilarious. But why did she need to be so curvy and top-heavy? We could sort of understand if she was established as Mumbo’s wife at that point, but that didn’t occur until “Nuts & Bolts”. Humba’s great, we love her ferocity and ambitious demeanor! It’s just that she really didn’t need to look so sexy, did she? Oh well, she still looks smoking in “Nuts & Bolts”. Mumbo may run the garage, but we know who really wears the pants around here - it’s Mr. Pants!

Really, what is it with all these 3D platformer mascots having hot ladies? At least Keira is given a more notable role in the “Jak & Daxter” series, often serving as the mechanic and engineer. However, this is why her revealing outfit doesn’t make much sense. No one in their right mind would be wearing a midriff top while working on machines that probably require grease, oil, gasoline, and a bunch of other chemicals. Overall, it just comes off like the game was saying, “Hey! She’s the love interest! ...Anyways, just wanted you to know that in case you didn’t figure it out yet.”

Of all the sexy characters in platformer games, this one is arguably STILL the weirdest to this day! Look, we get it - she’s the femme fatale, the Catwoman to Knuckles’ Batman. But did we absolutely need a character in “Sonic the Hedgehog” that proudly displayed her assets the way she did throughout the 2000’s? Take a look at any artwork, any promotional material and models of her from across the series, and you’ll see them upfront and center! Admittedly, SEGA has toned down her flirtatious behavior and revealing outfits over the last several years. Doesn’t make it any less weird, though.

Ya like “Katamari”? You like rolling balls around and sending everyone and everything in the world to a fiery death so you can make pretty stars? So do we, but that dream comes to a screeching halt when dear old dad shows up to lecture or berate us. It’s not even the lectures themselves that we dread - it’s wondering what pose we’re about to find him in. See, the King of All Cosmos already has this bizarre appearance. The last thing we EVER wanted to see was how much heat Space Daddy is packing. You just CANNOT unsee it, and unfortunately, bleach does not seem to be an existing item in the “Katamari” universe. So, you’ll have to pray your character is covering it.

Let’s break away from something as intense as the King of Cosmos and focus on something a bit happier. The original “Rayman” boasted a wondrous world of colorful characters, one of them being Betilla the Fairy. Though she looked a tad circus clown-esque, Betilla was a sight for sore eyes because of the cool powers she’d grant you. Then, for some reason, “Rayman Origins” turned her into more of a nymph and gave her thick thighs, thigh-high stockings, and barely any clothing. Hy, thick thighs save lives and all, but Betilla just takes off after the first level to go meditate with her sisters! Betilla isn’t back if she shows up for ten seconds and bolts - don’t lie to me, Xbox achievements!

You know, AI can do all sorts of marvelous things: assist in health problems, drive cars for us, listen in on our conversations to recommend us products to buy in a totally not-creepy way. You wanna know something even more weird? EDI. More specifically, the moment where she transfers herself into a Cerberus unit, which just so happens to be somewhat provocative. BioWare, you weren’t really anticipating we end up going for the busty AI that was just a sentient, spherical OS prior, right? Shepherd is many things and can be many more. This path, though? It’s a no, and we have to wonder if this was really necessary to the game.

A lot of the entries we’ve covered have mostly been about characters being sexy for little to no reason or because their sexiness didn’t make sense in some areas. Well, if you want to get really ridiculous, have you heard of “Metal Gear Solid’s” Quiet? Care to take a guess as to why this sniper assassin is running around in a bikini top and no armor whatsoever? According to director Hideo Kojima, Quiet went under an intense treatment involving parasites, forcing her to breathe and drink through her skin. Yes, this is the reason chosen for her not wearing bulletproof vests or padding or...anything. Makes sense.

Cortana was such a fantastic character, and there were a few occasions where her moments with Master Chief were genuinely touching. She’s a character to respect and admire. So, why in the Hellas did she start wearing less and less clothing as the series continued? After “Halo 2”, it started looking less like a bodysuit and more like a singlet! While 343 Industries did give the character more dignity in “Halo 5: Guardians”, the damage done by “Halo 4” was already made. We’ll miss you, our artificial sweetheart.