Top 10 Worst Facebook FAILS of All Time

No use deleting it: once it hits the Internet, it’s there forever. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Cringiest Facebook Posts.

For this list, we’re grabbing a handful of Facebook posts that’ve made the rounds online, either because they’re filled with grammatical errors, lacking punctuation or jammed with the kind of nonsense logic that makes us facepalm and question our own existence.

Hey, we get it: English is hard. Words don’t always mean what you think they mean. Case in point: Alexander takes to Facebook to brag about eating a raw chicken breast. But soon he’s warned about the possibility of him catching the deadly salmonella. If only Alex had known what salmonella was before responding with “I ate chicken, not salmon, dude.” Honestly, for this guy’s sake, we hope this was a joke made on purpose, but we guess we’ll never know. Also, pro tip: although the word “salmonella” has “salmon” in it, you don’t get it just from salmon. Eating any contaminated food puts you at risk.

Everyone has those friends who share stuff about hidden Facebook hacks. Well, according to our friend Rob here, typing your password into Facebook forces the system to censor it in an effort to keep your account secure. Sounds legit – we guess – until you scroll down to the comments and find that a few of his friends have revealed their passwords – with no asterisks in sight. Internet security rule #1: never give your information out over social media; you never know who’s viewing your activity. Better reset those passwords quickly, guys!

Not to sound like grammar Nazis, but correct punctuation is key – especially if you don’t wanna be misunderstood on social media. Some sentences can lose their meaning entirely due to missing commas. Sentences like this, for example: “So much for calling me dad.” This Facebook post could mean one of three things: either A) he’s talking about a child who refuses to call him “dad,” B) he’s disappointed by his lack of nicknames in the bedroom, or C) his father told him he was going to call and didn’t. As we learn in the comments, the answer was C, but our friend with the daddy issues could’ve saved his buddies from confusion if he’d just used a darn comma.

Sometimes, somebody will post something on social media that’ll make you stop and consider how others view the world and think society functions. Such is the case with this entry. Clearly irritated at having to act as a chauffeur, this person took to Facebook to let the world know that he or she is no bloody taxi service. If you expect a lift, you will be expecting to fork up the dough… exactly as a taxi service would. We get the complaint, but any logic there may’ve been behind it is negated by irony. Guess somebody won’t be working for Uber or Lyft anytime soon.

We’re sure there are some people out there who believe machines will become so advanced, it’ll allow humans to become lazy couch potatoes who don’t (or can’t) do anything for themselves. Sounds like a stretch to us, but when stories like this pop up, it does seem like the end is nigh. This Facebook fail recounts the harrowing saga of a person who gets “trapped” on an escalator when the power goes out, because when the power failed so did his or her legs. One friend tried to save the situation in the comments, hoping the poster meant trapped in an elevator. But nope: it was, in fact, an escalator.

Many jokes are better left untold – especially if you don’t know how your audience will react. If only our subject here had considered that before posting a joke that can be interpreted as misogynistic. A woman’s on a plane that’s about to crash, and wants some man on the plane to make her “feel like a woman” before she dies. The punchline? A man throws his shirt at her and says, “here, iron this!” Ha ha, we get it, very funny. Well, Luke may think he’s a clever comedian, but less than five minutes after the joke was posted, his relationship status changes. Gee, whatever could’ve made the relationship fall apart so quickly?

You wanna know what’s dumb? Elevators! All they do is go up and down all day long… Yeah, we don’t really get why you’d criticize an elevator either, but here we are. Whoever posted this to Facebook was in an elevator that was incredibly dumb because… it had a button for the floor he or she was on? Okay, here’s how elevators work: you push the button, wait for the elevator, walk in, then push the button to the floor you want to go to. Honestly, it just floors us that someone would be critical of elevators; sure, they have their ups and downs, but it’s dumb on so many levels and it really pushes our buttons…

Pop quiz! Don’t worry, it’s easy; what bird is associated with the United States of America? We thought it was common knowledge that the answer is a bald eagle, but apparently, somebody didn’t get the memo. Our person of interest posted a picture of the stars and stripes with an eagle artistically edited into the foreground. However, he forced us to facepalm when he captioned it with “american flag and weird looking parrot.” Now, without actually doing any research on this, we can tell you that the kind of parrots we usually picture are much more colorful than eagles. We’re not saying you need to study ornithology and American history to post on Facebook, but like dude: know your birds.

Remember earlier when we said you should always check your punctuation? Well, here’s another Facebook fail to drive that point home. Even if we ignore the lack of capitalization – because really who cares? It’s Facebook – this post is still constructed in such a way that we’re left assuming he’s enthusiastically coming out of the closet. When we read it a second time, we realize that’s of course NOT what he means, but we agree with his buddy Matt: “Dude, You have got to figure out this whole comma thing.”

Before we get to our embarrassingly funny top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
- Marilyn Monroe Loved Reading Romantic Texts
- Things You Shouldn’t Announce on Facebook
- Not a “Surprise” Party Anymore

On this list, we’ve already learned that English is hard, but foreign languages are even more difficult. If ever you’re not sure about an exotic word or phrase, grab a dictionary, ask an expert or – at the very least – turn to Google to make sure what you’re saying. If only this guy had done any of those things before he posted a pic of his meal, highlighted by the caption “bone Apple tea.” For those of you who don’t speak French, the proper pronunciation is “bon appétit” and it basically translates to “enjoy your meal.” Frankly, if you’re sitting down to a serving of “bone Apple tea,” the last thing you’re gonna be doing is enjoying your meal.

Do you agree with our list? Which Facebook fails made you cringe the most? For more Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com!