Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Patrick Star

SpongeBob wants to prove he’s tough enough to get into the Salty Spitoon but to put it bluntly… he’s a weenie. Patrick decides to help him out by staging a fake fight to make SpongeBob look good; he lands one good punch out of anger, but then proceeds to beat himself up… and he isn’t holding back. While it’s kind of funny, it’s also unsettling to watch Patrick whale into himself and toss himself around – it starts to look less like he’s beating himself up and more like some invisible bully is kicking his butt. In the end, the plan works and SpongeBob gets into the club… but we’re all left concerned about the damage Patrick can bring onto himself.

While visiting the Bikini Bottom Zoo, SpongeBob throws a peanut at Clamu the giant oyster, unintentionally harming her. Patrick investigates to find the jerk that upset Clamu… only to have himself be accused and arrested by the police. Being the gullible doofus he is, Patrick doesn’t try to defend himself and just goes along with it, allowing himself to be chained up and pelted with peanuts by angry zoo patrons. While he’s been accused of being a jellyfish net thief or mistaken for a corporate spy, Patrick’s too naïve to be a true criminal, so having him arrested for something he didn’t do is just wrong. Thankfully, SpongeBob isn’t keen on letting his best friend take the fall for HIS misdoings.

SpongeBob wants to live in the wild with the Jellyfish; while the others shrug it off saying he’ll be back, Patrick takes it the hardest, believing that he’s truly lost his best friend. He begs his absorbent buddy to come home, but to no avail; heartbroken, he then tries to “catch” SpongeBob… only to once again leave unsuccessful, and eyes full of tears. These two have been best friends forever, so the idea of his little buddy abandoning him is just too much for Patrick to bear. Although SpongeBob comes back afterward, (Gary dumps Patrick) the poor starfish would only receive more heartbreak later on when Gary the Snail only hangs around him for treats. Patrick may be a dunce, but he needs love too.

Patrick enters a contest to have his poem made into a song. But while he’s brainstorming lyrics, he flashes back to when he wrote a poem as a schoolboy. It was pretty bad, and he got pelted with dodgeballs for it. To be fair, he probably shouldn’t have been reading in the middle of gym class, but that day was traumatic enough to scar him to this very day – and almost stops him from trying to write his song. What’s worse is that when he finally gets his “masterpiece” made, everyone except SpongeBob hates it, forms an angry mob against him, and pelts him with dodgeballs again in the end. For his own health’s sake, maybe Patrick should just avoid creative writing altogether.

SpongeBob and Patrick end up trapped inside Sandy’s snowbound treedome while she’s hibernating. It seems like winter fun at first… until they’re soon terrorized by a sleepwalking, bulked-up Sandy who confuses the two for Texas criminals named Dirty Dan and Pinhead Larry. Patrick gets it particularly bad as Sandy rips the top of his head off and smacks him around. To make matters worse, the door is frozen shut, so all they can do is nearly freeze to death until spring. They manage to survive the winter by shaving Sandy and using her fur for warmth… but boy are they in trouble when spring finally arrives. Major life lesson for our favorite idiots – stay away from Sandy’s home during the winter.

Patrick takes SpongeBob to the “carnival,” which is really a field full of fisherman hooks hoping to snag a bite. Patrick, not knowing any better, keeps playing on the hooks and pressuring SpongeBob to do the same despite Mr. Krabs’ warnings. In the end, while SpongeBob learns his lesson, Patrick isn’t as lucky – he’s shipped back home in an oversized tuna can after getting snagged by the hooks off-screen. Sad to say, but it serves Patrick right for not heeding Mr. Krabs’ advice, peer pressuring his friend, and trying to push his luck. The only thing that is more painful than getting vacuum-packed in a tuna can is getting crammed in a trombone.

While visiting the Fry Cook Museum, SpongeBob effortlessly pulls the golden spatula out of the ancient grease… but King Neptune doesn’t believe he’s worthy of being called the “Royal Fry Cook.” Patrick calls the King out on his stubbornness… only to get literally burnt by the almighty god. Unfortunately, Patrick never knows when to quit, so he continues to jeer Neptune – while singing SpongeBob’s praises - only to get burnt worse and worse until he’s nothing but a crispy smudge on the floor. Neptune eventually fixes him… only to accidentally rearrange his face. While it’s noble of Patrick to stand up for his best friend… he really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut – especially when arguing with a god.

When SpongeBob comes down with the suds, Patrick tries to cure him to save his buddy from going to the “horrible, horrible” doctor’s office – but “Doctor” Patrick is a huge quack. When he sees that the actual doctor isn’t so bad, Patrick pretends to have the suds too so that he can get a lollipop; he is then given a “special treatment” which involves him being used for cleaning a cactus and a toilet, and screaming in discomfort and terror. While Patrick shouldn’t have impersonated a doctor, he was just worried about his best friend and wanted to protect him – even though he was SERIOUSLY misguided and could’ve avoided a lot of grief if he didn’t get involved.

Patrick wants a work hat of his own, so he gets a job at the Krusty Krab; unfortunately, the hat causes him to keep falling on his face. Seeing his buffoonery attracting customers, Mr. Krabs makes him the main attraction, charging patrons to watch him fall down and hurt himself. Despite the brain trauma and injuries his new job causes him, poor Patrick doesn’t want to give it up because it makes him feel like a winner. What’s worse is that he’s eventually fired for SURVIVING a deadly stunt that could’ve MAIMED him. It’s for the best, as not even someone as dopey as Patrick should be forced to work in a toxic workforce that cashes in on their suffering.

Before we unveil Patrick’s greatest tragedy, here are a few dishonorable mentions.

Overcome in the Perfume Department

Literally Losing His Mind

Stretched Out

Beaten up by Man Ray

Forced to be a Spokesperson

In the series’ first feature film, SpongeBob is on a mission to retrieve King Neptune’s crown. Patrick goes with him… but they both end up in a literal out-of-water predicament when they’re abducted by a diver they believe is a Cyclops. He places them under a heat lamp where they slowly shrivel up and dry out – basically dying. This is not only the most tragic moment for Patrick, but it also shows him at his most loyal – following his buddy on a perilous journey halfway across the ocean, and sticking by him even in their seemingly final hours as the life is dried out of them. And nothing less than a miracle or their friendship can bring them back.