Top 10 Worst Patrick Star Moments

“Oral Report”

SpongeBob’s a nervous wreck about his oral report for Boating School –no thanks to Squidward, so he asks Patrick to help him practice. How does Patrick help, you may ask – by constantly interrupting his speech, putting him through ridiculously over-the-top obstacles, and generally adding more to SpongeBob’s anxiety. On top of it, when it’s time for the actual report, Patrick breaks the special goggles used to help with SpongeBob’s stage fright. Hey, remember when Patrick used to actually TRY to be helpful for his friend? Clearly this episode didn’t, because his “helpfulness” amounts to torturing the poor yellow sponge.

“Little Yellow Book”

In this episode, Squidward gets a hold of SpongeBob’s diary and reads it to the customers –including Patrick. Rather than stop the cook and defend his friend’s privacy however, Patrick joins in and starts teasing the absorbent fry cook; but when SpongeBob starts crying, the entire town turns on Squidward and goes out of their way to antagonize him for his “crime”. Patrick joins in the hypocrisy by chewing out the cephalopod –even though he is FAR from innocent in this. Reading someone’s diary is wrong, but Patrick and the townsfolk have no right to sanctimoniously punish Squidward for their hypocrisy - unless they actually apologized to SpongeBob off-screen… which we REALLY doubt.

“Rule of Dumb”

It turns out that Patrick is of royal blood, and is possibly a king. So, like any decent king… Patrick totally abuses his power to tax the townsfolk for their valuables. SpongeBob’s too scared to call his kingly best friend out on his tyranny; but thankfully, we have Squidward for that. While his ‘royal’ behavior is appalling, let’s be fair – Patrick has no idea how to be a real king, so it makes sense that the power would go to his head; plus, he DOES learn his lesson… sort of. It turns out that Gary is actually the true king, and he and Patrick are somewhat related. Poor snail.

“Patrick’s Staycation”

This lackluster Season 8 miniseries saw the main characters showing off their vacation slides, and Patrick is among them –who knew being lazy could be so tiresome? He can’t afford a real vacation, so SpongeBob converts the rock into a resort to give his best friend a comfortable staycation. The little square dude jumps through hoops to make Patrick happy –and safe, and how does Patrick show his appreciation? By running SpongeBob ragged, walking out on him, and taking over his bed. To top it all, he never ONCE says thank you for his porous pal’s efforts. After all his hard work, SpongeBob could use an actual vacation… away from unappreciative friends.

“The Splinter”

SpongeBob gets a wicked splinter and desperately calls Dr. Patrick to fix it. Rather than be of any ACTUAL help, Patrick self-righteously shames SpongeBob for questioning his methods, and then makes the splinter worse in the most graphic and gruesome way possible… before proceeding to just walk away. In an earlier –and much better- episode, Dr. Patrick unintentionally made things worse, but at least back then it was a genuine effort and failure - followed up by a lesson. Here, he can just shrug off SpongeBob’s dilemma, do whatever he wants at his ‘best friend’s’ expense, and not face consequences for his snobby blundering. Needless to say, Patrick’s both a quack AND a lousy friend.

“Big Sister Sam”

The fact that they retconned Patrick not having any siblings is already a bad start. His long lost big sister Sam comes to visit… and she’s even more dense and brutish than her brother. During her visit, Sam repeatedly harms Squidward and SpongeBob, AND dismantles their houses. Squidward is rightfully furious while SpongeBob tries to play peacemaker, but Patrick scorns them for ‘being mean’ to his sister. Sam only shows regret after accidentally hurting Patrick, but continuously abusing the others is A-Ok in her book. While it’s nice that Patrick has such a strong bond with his sister, what right has he to encourage her destructive behavior and ignore his friends’ well being?

“I’m with Stupid”

Believe it or not, even during Spongebob’s ‘golden age’, Patrick had his fair share of unlikable moments. His parents are coming over, and he’s nervous that they think he’s unintelligent. SpongeBob decides to act like a dummy to make his pink buddy look smart, and it initially seems to work. However, Patrick gets caught up in the act and starts rudely treating him like he really IS dumb –even behind the scenes. The family jeers and laughs at SpongeBob until he finally leaves in frustration; later, it turns out that the visitors weren’t even Patrick’s real parents –meaning he humiliated his best friend for nothing.

“Yours, Mine and Mine”

Getting off to a bad start, Patrick mooches off of SpongeBob to buy a kid’s meal for them to share… and then eats the whole meal for himself. Mr. Krabs manufactures a Patty Pal toy for the two to share… except Patrick goes out of his way to keep the toy for himself. Patrick’s had some selfish tendencies before, but here, he’s just a whiny baby who fusses and cries when he doesn’t get his way –he even goes so far as to EAT the toy, screaming “If I can’t have it, no one can!” Lesson learned – never share anything with the big pink brat; you’ll literally pay the price for it.

“Pet Sitter Pat”

Our porous protagonist is going out for the day, and asks Patrick –his most ‘responsible’ friend- to watch over Gary… what could possibly go wrong? For starters, he eats Gary’s food right in front of him, leaving the poor snail to starve. Afterwards, Patrick forcibly bathes the poor snail with a fire hose and flamethrower… just because, and also floods the pineapple. We’re not sure which is worse – the fact that Patrick can neglect and abuse his own blood relative without blinking, or how the cop out ending just makes everything alright again even though it’s really not. In a just world, Gary would be taking care of himself, and PATRICK would get the babysitter.





Before we unveil Patrick at his worst, here are a few dishonorable mentions.



Patrick the Mad Chopper

“Karate Star”





Destroying the Krusty Krab

“Pat No Pay”





Eating SpongeBob & Squidward’s Backstage Passes

“Smoothe Jazz at Bikini Bottom”

“The Card”

SpongeBob has been desperately trying to find a rare Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card… and guess who ends up with it. SpongeBob is hell-bent on preserving the card, but Patrick keeps putting it, and himself, in danger. Then... he makes a rather interesting comment. This bizarre statement heavily implies that every dumb thing he does – including endangering himself, later ruining the card and making SpongeBob cry, and every horrifying act he’s done on this list… he does on purpose just for kicks. Though he does make amends with SpongeBob for the whole card thing, the damage is done – this small remark paints a once lovable doofus as a sociopathic, selfish imbecile.