Top 20 Full House Jokes You Didn't Get as a Kid

"A Little Romance"
Somehow, Becky convinced the guys to take part in her bachelor charity auction. It’s Danny’s turn to be auctioned, but he’s not expecting anyone to bid on him. When the ladies actually start bidding, he excitedly shouts “Don’t stop now, I can go all night”. He eats his words when EVERYONE starts bidding on him, realizing they might not get what he meant. He ends up with a little old lady with a bird in her hat, but it’s comforting to know that Danny could’ve gotten with anyone in the room. One can only imagine what the other ladies had in mind for him.

"Michelle Rides Again: Part 1”
Jesse and Joey are preparing to wrestle on TV with a practice match in the living room. With these two, it’s already guaranteed to leave us in stitches, but things really get bananas when Joey tries to demonstrate the leglock. He asks Jesse to lay flat on the mat and lift one of his legs into the air... Jesse’s reaction says it all. Afterwards, the two end up with their legs locked together in an unflattering position. The physical humor had us laughing enough, but looking back at Jesse’s reaction and the compromising pose only adds fuel to the comedic fire. There’s never a dull moment with these two knuckleheads.

“Back to School Blues”
While this joke isn’t exactly impossible to comprehend as a kid, it definitely requires some age and wisdom to truly get. Danny has a reputation for being a bit of a clean freak, but he goes a step beyond reason when he’s caught cleaning… his cleaning gloves. Upon seeing the scene, Joey retorts that there’s “no shame in therapy.” Hearing this joke through a grown-up lens definitely hits different– especially if you yourself are guilty of some light anxiety induced cleaning! Plus, seeing how DJ and Kimmy wanted to show up to school dressed more… maturely, we can’t blame Danny for getting the jitters out with a good scrub!

"Too Much Monkey Business"
When Danny’s sister Wendy comes to visit, she brings with her a chimpanzee named Ginger, who takes an immediate liking to Jesse. It's the hair, isn’t it? Later on, while Jesse is taking a nap, Ginger sneaks into bed and starts getting a little affectionate with him. He thinks it’s Becky, so he doesn’t mind, especially when she starts spanking him. Of course, Jesse finds out who it really is in the end and his reaction is comedy gold. Meanwhile, Becky - who has been watching the whole time - jokingly mentions that she learned something new from Ginger. Apparently, we just learned one of Jesse’s kinks - not that we fully caught it the first time.

“Glazed and Confused”
While meeting with social worker Mrs. Lopez about hopefully adopting a child, Jesse and Becky take her, Stephanie, and Fernando to the set of her favorite show, “Police Mom”. While Jesse doesn’t make a good first impression with Mrs. Lopez, the social worker takes a strong liking to Fernando. After he makes a joke, Mrs. Lopez comments that he’s so cute that she could adopt him all night long. Even we’re not sure what she meant by that, but given that she was trying to flirt with Fernando, we’re probably better off not knowing. Still, it was bold of her to try anyway.

“Mad Max”
D.J. is waiting for a plumber to help unclog her toilet when a handsome-looking man named Tyler shows up. Thinking he’s the plumber, she pulls him upstairs to the bathroom... but it looks like Tyler has other ideas in mind. But before things can escalate, Kimmy comes in with the real plumber, revealing that Tyler was a blind date she set up for D.J. Despite the mix-up, Tyler confirms that he’s a naughty plumber. The scenario plays out like the start of a cliche adult video that hopefully flew over younger viewers' heads. On the plus side, Kimmy hits it off with the ACTUAL plumber.

"Fuller House"
At long last, Jesse and Becky have returned from their honeymoon in Bora Bora. They waste no time hugging their family, happy to be home. Jesse mentions how they got the whole honeymoon on tape… well, “the outdoor stuff” anyway, according to Becky. Young fans might not understand what she means, but we know what really happened on the honeymoon: where do you think the twins, Nicky and Alex, came from? Joey and Becky’s faces only confirm this. Danny mentions that the Tanners filmed their own home movies for the two while they were away, but we highly doubt they had a more eventful time than the happy couple did.

"Working Mothers"
Our dynamic duo Jesse and Joey find themselves in a pickle when they have to give a commercial pitch presentation while simultaneously babysitting Michelle. It goes about as well as expected, and yet Jesse and Joey successfully impressed their bosses. They explain Michelle to him by simply saying [“Joey and I have a baby”,] to which their boss responds that their personal lives are none of his business. At the time, we didn’t understand what he meant... now we don’t understand why Jesse and Joey worded it the way they did. Thankfully, their boss doesn’t judge, though Jesse again says the Tanners are “their kids” when they try to introduce him to Danny. We wonder what kind of family their boss thinks they have…

"The Heartbreak Kid"
Michelle is planning a wedding and needs some advice. She and Denise ask Jesse what happens during the honeymoon. Jesse, trying to preserve his youngest niece’s innocence, simply says that a honeymoon is a time when the bride and groom “get to know each other.” Michelle notes that they know each other before the wedding, to which Jesse responds that they don’t have to hide it from their parents. Thankfully, the kids don’t grasp what Jesse really meant, but we’re snickering at seeing him trying to sugarcoat it.

"Rock the Cradle"
Jesse is ecstatic about his band going on tour. Meanwhile, Becky has been having trouble trying to tell him that she’s having a baby. The rest of the family congratulates him on becoming a father, but he misinterprets it as them being happy about his tour. What follows is one of the most hilarious, out-of-context misunderstandings in TV history. While the double entendre and the family’s horrified expressions might go over younger viewers’ heads, our sides are aching at how a communication error can go hilariously wrong. Of course, Jesse learns about Becky’s pregnancy in the end, and his reaction is almost as funny as the misunderstanding.

“Back to School Blues”
Season 3 of “Full House” brings us an interesting look into DJ slowly becoming a teenager and testing her boundaries, including the school dress code. She and Kimmy enter junior high and want to upgrade their style to an older look. So, of course, they go way overboard with their clothing choices. So much so that DJ’s dad Danny drops a very inappropriate line, saying it looks like they’re going to Caesars Palace, not high school. Since Caesars Palace reportedly once had staff that offered special services - if you know what we mean - this joke definitely went over our heads when we were kiddos. Hopefully.

“Mom Interference”
“Fuller House” is just as full of innuendos as “Full House,” if not even more! Remember Fernando’s pink robe? According to him, he likes a fresh breeze in the morning. On top of that, he’s parading around in the super short robe and pretty much shows what’s below his belt to his whole family. And speaking of that area, he says that no one can resist his bacon. Sure, he could mean actual bacon. But considering the context, this may be just one of those jokes adults laughed at much much harder than the kids did.

“The Not-So-Great Escape”
Speaking of “Fuller House,” even the kids have several lines with very different meanings for the adults watching the show. For example, Jackson’s seemingly innocent line about erupting his volcano may not be that innocent after all. Steph is right: that’s TMI. Or maybe the kid is just excited about his volcano and can’t get enough of watching the eruptions over and over again. Many parents have actually pointed out just how inappropriate “Fuller House” is with these types of jokes! Let’s just hope actor Michael Campion wasn’t told that his lines have double meanings because his delivery is always far too convincing.

“Mr. Egghead”
Walter is one of those “Full House” characters you either love or hate. And Jesse is definitely on the hate side. So when Joey gets a gig on the kiddie show “Mr. Egghead” to replace the original character, Jesse gets the job of his sidekick. And as we know, every class has a kid that asks way too many questions - Mr. Egghead’s class is no different. Walter wants to know what happened to the OG Mr. Egghead and when he doesn’t get a satisfactory reply, he then claims that he didn’t pay his taxes. Jesse follows up with the comeback that he’s on his so-called vacation for up to five years, which pretty much means that Mr. Egghead went to prison.

“New Kids in the House”
We all know DJ’s catchphrase - the good old “oh, my lanta.” She says it whenever she’s shocked, excited, or basically feeling almost any emotion whatsoever. But in “Fuller House,” Stephanie reveals that DJ says this phrase in other contexts too… as in, on her wedding night when, you know, she probably got a little bit overexcited. In fact, according to Steph, DJ was, erm, sent over the edge on her wedding night more than once. A triple my lanta, if you will. The Tanner sisters definitely got a lot more attitude in “Fuller House,” didn’t they?

“DJ and Kimmy’s High School Reunion”
High school reunions are the worst. But it’s even worse when you embarrass yourself during your reunion and end up trending online. So, when Kimmy accidentally lets everyone hear the voicemail from her doctor, it’s our worst nightmare. And hers, too! Her doc explains what she needs to do to flush out her system - you know, the one down there. But then adds that it should clear up, so she’ll be back in action in no time. And we all can guess what he means by ‘back in action’. To make things worse, Kimmy manages to rip her dress during a dance with DJ! Yep, worst high school reunion ever.

“Silence Is Not Golden”
Remember when you were a kid and didn’t realize that phone calls cost money? Well, Michelle also didn’t get that memo before she calls a phone line that tells her a lot of jokes. Danny is shocked at all the random charges he sees when he looks at the phone bill. Joey immediately goes into the defense mode and says he’s never called a 976 number in his life. And by that number... he’s implying calling someone to have a naughty time over the phone. He later admits he did try it once, but got put off when his Aunt Frieda answered. Sounds like Aunt Frieda might be a saucy one, huh?

“Up On the Roof”
Don’t mess with Aunt Becky, guys. She and Jesse are full of flirty innuendos! When Jesse tries to have a playful go at Aunt Becky and claims she can’t cook, she reminds him of her Sunday Surprise casserole. Danny replies that they call it their Monday Surprise, because, er, it comes out the other end later. But then Jesse says that he was still getting surprised on Tuesdays. However, Becky makes it very clear that Jesse won’t be getting any surprises that night. Of course, she’s not talking about her casserole anymore. Or maybe she is, but her casserole has a bit of an innuendo.

“Breaking Away”
Kimmy Gibbler isn’t the only one that gets a lot of insults on “Full House.” Stephanie’s friend Gia also constantly gets picked on for not being the brightest bulb in the box - especially by, surprise surprise, the queen of bad attitude aka Michelle Tanner. When Gia asks Michelle if she’s ready for her first day of third grade, she’s not ready for what’s going to come out of this sassy diva’s mouth. Poor Gia, give her a break! Although, to be honest, what she says to Gia is a pretty good burn for someone Michelle’s age.

“Stephanie Plays the Field”
Okay guys, are you ready for the cutest “Full House” moment ever? Michelle loves uncle Jesse as much as we do. But when she asks him to play with her for what seems like the billionth time that day to him, he’s over it. Because he wants to be alone with Aunt Becky, he locks Michelle out. Of course, she’s not happy and complains to Joey, who’s doing his taxes. But when Michelle asks why Jesse wants to be alone with Aunt Becky, Joey explains that they’re also doing, erm, so-called taxes. And that they’ll be doing them every night. Ah, the good old “taxies” [Michelle pronounces it as ‘taxies’ but feel free to just say it as ‘taxes’] honeymoon phase.


Did you need to do a second take on these jokes? Let us know in the comments.