Porno Prof., Magneto Mind Control & Baby Sales: The Dispatch Ep. 18

Porno Prof., Magneto Mind Control & Baby Sales: The Dispatch Ep. 18

Magnetic mind control, daughters for sale and porn star professors! Just because you don’t need to know about these stories, doesn’t mean they won’t interest you. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and this is The Dispatch, where we bring you the Internet’s weirdest and coolest stories! This week we’re looking at the mind control of mice, selling daughters in China, and professors who know how to porn!

#3: Magneto Mice

Who knew all those magnets you have from pizza deliveries could make a mouse so happy? A group of researchers reported in Nature Neuroscience that they have achieved “genetically targeted magnetic control of the nervous system.” So, in short, commoners like you and I are calling it mind control as they are, well, controlling the emotions of an animal. As you know, your brain circuitry alters your behavior and emotions depending on which neurological connections are being made, etc. etc. The scientists created a hybrid protein called “Magneto,” inserted it into mice, then released them into a chamber with various magnetic fields. The Magneto protein attached itself to cells that are responsive to dopamine within the mice, so wherever there was a magnetic field activated in the chamber, the mice would flock to those areas. Pretty outstanding stuff! Cue the conspiracy theorists to start wearing anti-magnetism helmets.

#2: Daddy Daughter iPhone Deal

With such an enormous immigration crisis taking place in the EU and the Middle East these days, it forces us to ask the difficult questions; where should all these people go? Who will pay for them? How much does a human life actually cost? Well according to a Chinese couple, around $3,500. In hopes of purchasing an iPhone and a motorcycle, a couple from the Fujian province of South East China decided to sell their baby daughter online this week using the Chinese messaging app QQ. They had no trouble finding a buyer who said he wanted to purchase the girl for his sister. Meanwhile, police tracked down and arrested the couple who are now sentenced to FaceTime – sorry - jail time for the offense, even though they “didn’t know it was illegal.” Can you really blame them? Who’s got money for diapers and baby food when you have costly data overages and applications to pay for!

#1: Porn Star Prof

We all know that horrifying feeling when you bump into your teacher on the street or at the grocery store and you’re forced to imagine that your prof has a private life. So you can imagine the horror students at Manchester University faced upon learning that their 61-year-old professor was moonlighting as a porn star. A respected academic and lecturer in chemical engineering at the British school, Nicholas Goddard, or Old Nick as he’s known on-screen, is said to have taken on the job following a divorce. An investigation is currently ongoing at the university to determine whether the professor is guilty of any wrongdoing. It should make for an interesting return to the classroom; we’re just hoping he doesn’t pull an Old Nick and show up wearing nothing but a gold watch.

So, are you nervous about this Magneto mind control?
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