Tech Tats, “Dead” Gamers & Kids Viagra: The Dispatch Ep. 5

Tech Tats, “Dead” Gamers & Kids Viagra: The Dispatch Ep. 5

Viagra for kids, tech tattoos and dead gamers that aren’t actually dead. Just because you don’t need to know about these stories, doesn’t mean they won’t interest you. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and this is The Dispatch, where we give you 3 cool, funny, or weird news stories from the previous week of human existence. So, pop a Viagra and let’s get this going! I’m joking, don’t do that! Do NOT do that. Awkward visuals...

#3 FutureArt TechSounds

The question that every person with a tattoo has a scripted answer for: ‘Hey man, what does your tattoo mean?’ It’s for a loved one, it’s for my love of this team or that song, it monitors my heart rate and stress levels. Wait, what? Besides looking pretty damn cool, these technology-imbued tattoos or ‘tech tats’ could be the future of not only self-inflicted art, but also the medical treatment world. According to Chaotic Moon Studios, the dudes and dudettes behind the technology, these tech tattoos are an actual working circuit board that can monitor your heart rate, stress levels, body temperature etc., and transmits it wirelessly to a tracking program. Chaotic Moon Studios don’t wanna stop there though, as other practical uses of the technology could be used to hold banking info, or find your friends in crowds among other things. Take my money!

#2 Caught in the CrossFire

“I’m running away and I’m never coming back” is something we’ve all said in our youth, but few of us actually meant it. Xiao Yun of QIANJIANG (Chee-en-jung), China did it for real. After a quarrel with her parents, Yun left home and was missing for 10 years. Presumed dead by her friends, family and Chinese officials, Yun was actually alive the whole time, hanging with her online friends and family in internet cafes. I know what you’re thinking: there are only so many cat videos to be seen on the Internet. However, Yun was just gaming out to titles like CrossFire for a decade! She would sleep in bathhouses and cafes, living on food donations and money from the occasional cashier job. After being discovered at – you guessed it – an internet cafe, she was then reunited with her mother. No word on her next move, but sources are predicting a surge in her mom’s internet bills.

#1 Viagra: Now for KIDS!

Ads like this tell us that Viagra can be a big help in the bedroom, but doctors across the country are now saying the drug can be helpful to the kids that are conceived there! According to the docs, the blue diamonds are great for relaxing blood vessels, allowing blood to flow normally from the body into the lungs, while also stabilizing oxygen levels. Other reports have praised the drug for its use with premature babies suffering from pulmonary hypertension, a potentially lethal lung problem that is currently the leading cause of death in premature babies. So after your mini-me has been conceived it might be worth it to keep that pill bottle around; medical professionals the world over are excited about Viagra’s stiff attitude towards children’s health!

So, will you be getting a tech tat?
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