Ukrainian Sith Lord and Electronic Blood: The Dispatch Ep. 1

Ukrainian Sith Lord and Electronic Blood: The Dispatch Ep. 1

The world’s pretty cool! Just because you don’t NEED to know about it, doesn’t mean it won’t interest you. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and this is The Dispatch, where we give you 3 cool, funny, or WEIRD news stories from the previous week of human existence.

#3: Drinking gives you an Australian Accent

Well, not really. But according Dean Frenkel, a lecturer at Victoria University in Melbourne Australia, the Australian accent is a result of the early settlers hittin’ the sauce on the daily. Frenkel says, quote “our forefathers regularly got drunk together and through their frequent interactions unknowingly added an alcoholic slur to our national speech patterns” end quote. And apparently, Australian’s have continued to teach their children how to speak with this inebriated accent for the past two centuries! Frenkel continues, claiming that the accent is similar to that of an intoxicated individual, as vowels are lazily transformed into other vowel sounds, like a’s to e’s, I’s to oi’s , and the dropping of consonants. But hey, despite all of that, we here at WatchMojo still put it in our top 10 sexiest accents list.

#2: My blood flows blue, baby

You mark my words, we’re giving robots and computers WAY too many true to life components. The ability to walk? Fine. To understand speech? Cool. Some can even understand emotion! And now, the mad scientists slash engineers at IBM Research in Zurich are developing 5D electronic blood for computing systems! Essentially, this blue liquid will be used to cool down computers AND deliver power to vertically stacked electronics: we’re talking CPUs, Stacked 3D chips, etc. Their goal is to give electronics the same amount of computing efficiency as you would find in the brains of mammals like us humans. This is slightly disconcerting, considering that a survey by Altman Weil showed that 47% of lawyers would like to see paralegals and first year associates replaced by an IBM Watson-esque robot within the next 5-10 years! Treason against the human race! The robot apocalypse commeth, I tell ya.

#1: Odessa’s Intergalactic Obsession

From robot apocalypse, to a sith taking his first steps to intergalactic domination. Besides the obvious answer of “because it’s awesome,” can anyone tell me what the deal is with the Ukrainian city of Odessa and Star Wars? The infamous Internet Party - or Pirate Party, depending on who you ask – is at it again. After putting forward Darth Vader as a candidate for Prime Minister in 2014 – and failing, btw – chalk up a point for the Sith, as Emperor Palpatine slash Darth Sidious slash Ukrainian man Palpatine Dmitry was elected to city council. Apparently mayoral candidate Sacha Borovik didn’t approve, saying to the voters, quote “What is wrong with you people?” I bet I can guess what Palpatine’s retort was... Ha, oh that’s just classic Palpatine.

So what do you think? Will robots live amongst our society in the next decade?
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