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Sex Strikes, Klingons & Pigeons: News You Missed - The Dispatch Ep. 4

VO: Adrian Sousa
Script Written by Jesse Polowin & Adrian Sousa Welcome to The Dispatch,'s look into three cool, funny, or weird news stories from the previous week of human existence. This week we’re tackling Klingon sword fights, sex strikes and pigeons with medicinal cred.

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Sex Strikes, Klingons & Pigeons: News You Missed - The Dispatch Ep. 4

Klingon sword fights, sex strikes and pigeons with doctorates. Kinda. Just because you don’t need to know about these stories, doesn’t mean they won’t interest you. Welcome to, and this is The Dispatch, where we give you 3 cool, funny, or weird news stories from the previous week of human existence. Grab your bat’leths, and let’s go!

#3: Dr. P. Igeon

We hear it all the time these days; there are simply not enough doctors to go around. Well, what if the answer to this shortage was waiting on every lamppost, awning and street corner? Maybe that’s a stretch, but researchers at the University of California say pigeons could be of use when it comes to analyzing x-rays. A recent flock-sourcing study tested the pigeon’s ability to distinguish between healthy and cancerous breast tissue. And they did pretty damn well, with overall accuracy at 85%. What’s more, UC Pathology Professor Richard Levenson says the pigeons could be a vital part of the development of image analysis technology. It’s time to start respecting pigeons; the creature that left a little present on your car window could also be advising your doctor with an accurate diagnosis.

#2: In the name of Kahless!

Sword violence was alive and well this year. This week a machete-wielding man held up a Michigan Dairy Queen for what we can only assume was an intense craving to get blizzed. Earlier in the year, a store clerk in Pittsburgh pulled a scimitar on a would be robber who was wielding a machete. And finally, screams of “qapla’” were heard in Spokane, Washington this week as a neighbourly dispute devolved into one man wielding a Klingon sword, or Bat’leth as it is known to the Trekkies. So here’s how it went down: solo male neighbour gets evicted and starts throwing his garbage in his neighbour’s bin. The neighbouring couple takes exception to that, tell him to stop. But he refuses, and starts throwing garbage all over their lawn. One thing leads to another, yada-yada-yada, the husband of the couple pulls out his Klingon sword, and voila. Classic occasion for some bat’leth.

#1: Cocked and Locked Up

Ladies in Chicago are taking certain things out of the bedroom, and into their own hands. Sex, or the lack thereof, is apparently the answer to Chicago’s violence problem. The idea is that women will withhold sex from their men until they put down their weapons. April Lawson, the conscious abstainer and originator of this movement, hopes that more women will join her unorthodox approach to lessen murders in Chi-Town, which has already seen 15 fatal shootings in November 2015 alone. So, as the age old saying goes: ‘you don’t holster the gun, no more fun. But if you heed to the strike, then… sex?!’ Meh, Something like that. Hey wait a minute, doesn’t this sound exactly like a new movie from Spike Lee? Isn’t it called Chi-Raq? I’m PRETTY sure that’s the exact premise of the movie. Huh, maybe I’m crazy.

So, will a sex strike work?
If you want to suggest a story or just talk about your day, get involved by tweeting us @TheDispatchWM. And for your weekly dispatch of offbeat news stories and top 10 lists published every day, be sure to subscribe to

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