Top 10 Low Blows in Anime (ft. Todd Haberkorn)

“Bleach” (2004-12)

While we’re not saying that Ichigo couldn’t do with some improvement when it comes speaking to the ladies in his life, this particular lesson in etiquette was way more painful than it had to be. Mostly duel to Nel landing a point-blank blow straight to the family jewels. While berating him for not discussing Orihime’s weight with more subtly, the Arrancar’s lesson is slightly dampened due to the fact that Ichigo probably spent the whole conversation focused on how his personal zanpakuto might now have a dent in it.

“Zatch Bell!” (2003-06)

Just goes to show that even a pint-sized Mamodo of unbelievable power like Zatch isn’t that different from us regular folk. And by that we mean a solid kick to the balls still leaves him in absolute agony. However, in this instance the pain of getting his magical beads shattered courtesy of Brago, just about saved his life. If not for that timely intervention, Zatch could have been skewered by Maestro. Thankfully his frenemy was there to block the attack with his foot…which just happened to be on an upwards trajectory that coincided with Golden Gash’s Bells. Ding ding.

“Gintama” (2006-18)

Only in this show could you have a tag-team wrestling match that results in our hero desperately trying to magically reattach his balls. Never change, oh sweet Silver Soul. Taking on love rival Doman, for the most part Gintoki looks all set to win his fight by a landslide, only to accidentally fall into Gedomaru’s massive, spiked club. As a result, his chance at having a family are left rolling all over the ring, which leads the way to Doman and Seimei engaging in a mystical showdown…where they repeatedly use Gintoki’s pride and joy. This one hurts to watch…

“Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu” (2003)

For those of you that looked at the original military-action series and thought – gimme more of that sweet high school romantic comedy, welcome to nirvana. Not only is this a hilarious addition to FMP’s content catalogue, but also has this delightful scene. Ever wondered how someone like Sagara would best a karate master? Simple. Toss a grenade at him, knock him to the floor and repeatedly blast his yam bag until it is nothing but dust. Not to add insult to injury but…can someone send me a gif of that? I need to send it to Grey.

“Fairy Tail” (2009-16; 2019)

There’s no better tactic for escaping imprisonment than nailing the jailer in his nutmegs and making a clean getaway. In this instance, Lucy had to try a lot harder than most, given how she was being held captive by none other than Phantom Lord’s leader Jose, though the results still ended up turning out the same. Using the old “I gotta pee” trope, Lucy managed to outwit the creepy geezer by agreeing to do it in a bucket. The moment he turned around – WHAM! Who needs magic when you’ve got leg day?

“My Hero Academia” (2016-)

Deku may be used to breaking bones thanks to the force of his own Quirk, but this might just be his most devastating injury yet; a potent strike to the scrotum courtesy of a brat with issues named Koda. While the two would later reconcile down the line, there’s no getting away from just how devastating this initial encounter was. Do you have anything left to say young man?! Just be thankful that Uraraka didn’t send you hurtling into space for hurting her future hubby.

“One Piece” (1999-)

Well…I can think of worst ways to convince a guy to join a pirate crew. After the events of Enies Lobby, Franky is left with no choice but to join the Straw Hats on their whirlwind adventures now that he’s got a bounty. Of course, it wasn’t easy to win him over, though thankfully Robin had the obvious solution; use her Devil Fruit to create a pair of hands that hold his robo balls in a vice grip until he submits. This probably looked a lot more different in Franky’s head when he imagined Ms Sunday getting a handful of his processing power.

“Naruto Shippuden” (2007-17)

“Ixion Saga DT” (2012-13)

A spiked boot right to the meat kiwis? No one deserves to go down that road, not even a pompous bastard like this guy. Unfortunately for the leader of Incognito, his injury was so severe that a doctor ended up having to surgically remove them for his own safety. Whether you feel immense sympathy for Erecpyle over here or can’t get enough of watching Kon hit his crackers on loop, it can’t be denied that he had been set up from failure since birth. Oh right – his name is a reference to ED, better known as Erectile Disfunction. Way to fulfil your destiny man!


Before we reveal our number one dumpling-crushing pick, here are a few honourable mentions that are sure to leave many of you cross legged.



A Cut Above…Uh…Below the Competition
“Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online” (2018)

Climb Kicks Succulent’s Succulents
“Overlord II” (2018)

“One Punch Man” (2015)Not exactly the most heroic way to take down an enemy, but then again if Sonic was as good of a ninja as he said he was, then maybe he could have found a way to NOT land crotch first into the fist of the world’s strongest man. Thinking Saitama to be easy prey, the villainous shinobi sought to cut him to pieces with his superior speed…only to find himself unceremoniously colliding with what is arguably the deadliest weapon in all of anime. All we can say is – RIP Sonic’s ball badgers. There is no coming back from that.