Combat Dolphins, Rock Marriage & Horse Slaps: The Dispatch Ep. 20

Combat Dolphins, Rock Marriages & Horse Slaps: The Dispatch Ep. 20

Deadly dolphins, mineral marriages and horse assaults! Just because you don’t need to know about these stories, doesn’t mean they won’t interest you. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and this is The Dispatch, where we bring you the Internet’s weirdest and coolest stories! This week we’re looking at the assault of a police horse, militant dolphins and rocky relationships.

#3: Equus Assault

By now, we’ve all seen Trump’s shenanigans. And while critics of his campaign want to put him away for being racist, bigoted and astoundingly ignorant, maybe the true offenders at Trump’s rallies are out there in the audience. Take for example April J Foster. This cold-blooded protestor was arrested and charged with abuse of a police service animal after she was seen yelling at and slapping a police service horse in the face. Apparently not disturbed enough by the hundreds of screaming protestors, this horse was really asking for it when it intimidated Foster by looking in her general direction and shuffling its hooves. Ms. Foster is scheduled to appear in court in May to face her charges. I wonder what Trump would say to this incursion on animal rights?

#2: Bottlenose Battalion

So, military dolphins are a thing, and have been a thing since as far back as the Cold War. The Soviet Union and the U.S.A. used these trained dolphins to detect submarines and underwater mines during that time of uncertainty that dragged on and on… from the end of WWII to when the Soviet Union collapsed. The USA will continue their training of marine mammals until at least 2020, and it looks like Russia wants to get back into the game. They’re offering up to $24,000 per dolphin, and are looking for three males and two females with perfect teeth. What do they have in mind for these fighting Flippers? Nobody knows. But if the rumors of their use in the past are true, they could be parachuting from helicopters, carrying deadly harpoons to kill enemy divers, planting explosives on enemy vessels, and fighting deep-sea alien-like cephalopods.

#1: Marriage on the Rocks

Some people would call spending consecutive days in bed drinking copious amounts of alcohol a good weekend. English artist Tracey Emin isn’t one of those people. Instead, she took the dirty, soiled bed and put it on display at the Tate Gallery in 1999, called it art and walked away with a cool 2.6 million dollars. Well, she’s back at it again with the sick art, having recently tied the knot with a rock as part of her most recent exhibition on display in Hong Kong. No, not The Rock. A rock, rock. When asked what her new life partner means to her she said “It just means that at the moment I am not alone; somewhere on the sea there is a beautiful stone and it’s not going anywhere”. We hear you on that one Tracey, everyone needs a boulder to cry on once in a while. Now let’s hope she doesn’t take that rock for granite!

So, how long until the forgotten rock files for divorce?
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