Harambe Spotted, Real Kiss of Death & N. Korea Missile Party: The Dispatch #34

Real Kiss of Death, Harambe Spotted & N. Korea Missile Party: The Dispatch #34

There’s probably a reason why you haven’t heard of these stories, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t interesting! Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and this is The Dispatch, where we bring you the Internet’s weirdest and coolest stories! This week, we’re looking at Harambe’s football appearance, a real life kiss of death, and North Korean missile dances.

#3: Pyongyang Launch Party

If you were dealt the misfortune of being born in the totalitarian state of North Korea, you’re probably not watching this video right now, and you’d know there’s not a lot of chances to party like its 1953. So when state television broadcasts and newspapers praised the successful test launches of North Korea’s ballistic missiles last week, people were up on the dance floor faster than you can say ‘demilitarized zone’. With tensions between North, South Korea and their allies growing at an alarming rate, the nationwide mass dancing demonstrations only add to the pro-conflict rhetoric that Kim Jong-Un’s government has been pushing as of late. On the upside, this does provide a rare instance of celebration for the people of Pyongyang. However, they will be limited to a few moves, as the state has outlawed the “whip,” “nae-nae,” and “shmoney” dances.

#2: Harambe Heroics

Harambe, the silver back gorilla who was shot and killed at the Cincinnati Zoo in May, 2016, has lived on through the internet via many memes and petitions. Some serious, some not so serious, and all of them seen as uncool by the Cincinnati Zoo. “We are not amused by the memes, petitions, and signs about Harambe,” said Thane Maynard, the zoo’s director. So, I wonder how he felt about a Cincinnati high school’s new mascot? A man wearing a gorilla suit showed up to the school’s latest football game and began dragging children around the field in tribute to Harambe’s final moments. Then, he began chasing a man in a banana suit around the field. This banana was no Chiquita though, as its tag simply read “RIP Harambe.” RIP indeed.

#1: Mexican Kiss of Death

Everybody knows that pretty much the only kiss you don’t want is from a Dementor. However, a kiss from your girlfriend almost always welcome, right? Not for one Julio Macias Gonzalez, a 17 year old boy from Mexico who suffered a fatal stroke after receiving a love bite from his girlfriend. Gonzalez was eating dinner the following evening with his family in the Iztapalapa district of Mexico City, when he began convulsing heavily. According to Mexican media, doctors believe the suction used to give Gonzalez a hickey caused a lethal blood clot in his brain. Gonzalez’s family is blaming his girlfriend for the death, and she is thought to be in hiding. Kiss with caution, kids.

So, how stupid are hickeys?
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