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Penile Betrayal, 27 Wives & Jailing Vegans: The Dispatch #33

VO: Adrian Sousa
Script Written by Jesse Polowin & Adrian Sousa Welcome to The Dispatch,'s look at the weirdest and coolest news stories from the previous week of human existence. This week, we’re looking at jailing vegans in Italy, polygamist hypocrites and Olympic manhood betrayal.

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Penile Betrayal, 27 Wives & Jailing Vegans: The Dispatch #33

There’s probably a reason why you haven’t heard of these stories, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t interesting! Welcome to, and this is The Dispatch, where we bring you the Internet’s weirdest and coolest stories! This week, we’re looking at jailing vegans in Italy, polygamist hypocrites and Olympic manhood betrayal.

#3: Italiano no Vegiano

If there’s one thing Italians love more than fashion, coffee or football, it has to be food. When you’re serving up pizza, lasagna or spaghetti bolognese on the daily, meat and dairy products become crucial parts of your diet. And, according to a new bill put forth by the Forza Italia political party, it should stay that way. In response to cases of vegan diets resulting in malnourished children over the last 18 months, parliament member Elvira Savino drafted a bill that could put parents who impose a vegan diet on their children behind bars. Offenders would face up to a year in jail, rising to a maximum of four years in the case of serious illness and six years in the case of death. According to Savino, vegan diets are lacking in zinc, iron, vitamin D, B12 and omega-3; essential nutrients for the developing body. However, many doctors argue B12 is the only missing component. So, is this a legit health concern or just anti-vegan rhetoric?

#2: Winston the Polygamist Hypocrite

“The pot calls the kettle black,” is a great line for roasting a hypocrite, but that doesn’t even begin to describe this next story. While speaking to an audience in Utah earlier this month, Winston Blackmore, a 59-year-old leader of a Mormon group based in British Columbia, Canada, spoke out against the legalization of polygamy. Who is this guy, though? Well he’s only the most prominent polygamist the country has ever known, as a father of 145 children and husband to 27 women. He’s also the father of some of his children’s children. What? And yet, he still manages to hold the position that the legalization of polygamous marriage would unfairly exploit women. The hypocrisy is strong with this one.

#1: CamelTail Fail

Every big event needs to have a villain. The 2016 Rio Summer Olympics are dealing with political unrest, poor water conditions (both in pools and bays), and a great deal of disorganization. I mean, the organizers had to use bolt cutters to get into the Olympic Stadium at one point as someone lost the keys. But anyway, one could argue that the biggest villain has been the manhood of some athletes. How? A penis was the reason for the break up of the Brazilian synchronized diving duo of Ingrid Oliveira and Giovanna Pedroso. Oliveira brought back a fellow Olympian to their shared bedroom and asked Pedroso to leave while they had a “marathon night of sex.” Pedroso was pissed, and they ended their partnership the next day. Perhaps a worst act of betrayal however was Japanese pole-vaulter Hiroki Ogita’s own manhood contributing to his elimination. Grazing the bar with his knee, Ogita’s penis provided the final blow to knock the bar off and effectively eliminate him from the Olympic pole-vaulting event.

So, should vegan diets be closely monitored worldwide?
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